The Mostly Unfabulous Love Life of mrthing

A post in which I enjoy a celebratory meal

2012-02-14T22:08:00.002-05:00

It was actually a good day all the way around.

I started the day by getting in touch with Rick. He's going to James's birthday party with me this weekend. So I have an actual date (!!) which is really nice. It's been a long time. I am pretty excited. My happiness is tempered only with the unpleasant news I have to share about the port complications and other things. I'm wondering how long I should wait before I expose all. That's always a poser for me.

I had good news at the doc today. He told me that a) my blood was finally thin enough (thank goodness, I thought I was going to have to purchase a large glass or something to carry my body around in); b) that he was taking me off the Lovenox injections for now; and c) that I didn't have to come in again until next week. Excellent.

I finished up the day at work and headed to Dad and Eve's house. Dad was taking me out for a celebration of the end of chemo. Since it tickles him to death to see me eat a piece of meat, and since I love them so much, I asked to go out for hot wings. I love buffalo wings the way a fat boy loves cake. Seriously. I just don't allow myself to indulge very often. We went to Quaker State Steak & Lube, in part because I went there years ago with some bears and they had the best barbecue sauce I have ever eaten. Unfortunately, they have discontinued that flavor (isn't that always the way it goes?). Still, it was all-you-can-eat wings night, and we proceeded to eat all we could eat.

Every time I eat chicken I see the chicken truck the next day, but I had already seen it Saturday night on my way home. I was thinking I was past the mojo, but no. Our waitress (at freakin' Quaker State mind you) was a vegetarian. During the course of taking our order, she found out that I usually am, and that I was falling off the wagon. So a fellow believer watched me sell out my convictions for buffalo wings. I decided to disregard it and ate them anyway.

Despite the bewildering array of sauces on offer, none were as good as the sauce I'd had on my prior visit (when I had buffalo shrimp). But since I love them so much I ate about 5,000 or so wings. Still, in future when the urge hits I'll be going to Sonny's in Powdersville. I think theirs are better.

After eating until we couldn't move, we adj0urned to the house for a visit before I headed home.

Usually, Valentine's Day gets me down. It's a reminder that I'm still single. But I don't feel so alone any more. Everyone has rallied round so well during treatment that it feels ungrateful and unnecessary to have a 'poor little me' party. I sent Valentines to Rhonda, Lisa, and Ava, and enjoyed that they would get a pleasant surprise. So the old VD didn't bother me so badly this year. Maybe my perspective has changed on what's really important. I sure hope so.

It was a nice evening.

A post in which it is a tale of two Richards

2012-02-13T22:08:00.002-05:00

When I started this post, I didn't think that I was using the title as a clever euphemism, but on second thought maybe I kind of am. There's a male strip club in Atlanta called Swinging Richards, and although I really have never cared for strippers, I've always thought the name was most clever.

But first.

I started the day off by putting on a pot of beans for soup. I LOVE my crock pot. I bought it years and years ago when I first moved out, and paid what was at the time a lot of money for me (I was poor). But I've never regretted it - it is a wonderful appliance.

I have a great recipe for twice-cooked Tuscan bread soup, but it takes three days to make. The base of it is delicious though, so sometimes I just make the base and eat that, which is what I did today. It's white beans (the recipe calls for white kidney beans, or Cannellini beans if you're Italian, but it works fine with Great Northern Beans, which you can get at BiLo), fresh sage, cracked black pepper, fresh crushed garlic cloves, and virgin olive oil. It doesn't sound like much, but it turns out really delicious. There is a bunch of stuff you add to the base after you puree it, but I don't always have time to do all that, and there is stuff in the full recipe I'm not supposed to eat at the mo (like black kale).

With the crock pot loaded, I went off to work and caught up on some things today. It was pretty quiet.

When I gave myself my Lovenox shot today, blood came running out of the tiny beeny hole afterwards, so I'm thinking that surely my blood is thin enough now. I'll find out tomorrow.

I drove straight home to see to my beans because I was afraid they would scorch, but I needn't have worried. I had set the crock pot too low and they weren't done. So I turned the crock pot up and two hours later, boom - done. I pureed the soup, packaged it up, and put some in the freezer. So I made up for goofing off Sunday morning and felt very responsible and practical.

In other news, I was fooling around online tonight when I ran across another guy named Richard. He is a cutie. We saw each other about four years ago, and just when I started to like him he told me he was moving back to Pennsylvania to go back to his ex. At the time, I was rather put out about it. Well he's back now, he has fond memories of me, and he would like to get together.

The other Richard (I'm calling him Rick because my Dad's name is Richard, and it's just too Freudian for words). Is the guy that I liked two weeks ago, who went out of town this past weekend. I suspect I may be more into him than he is to me, but it's hard to tell. When I hear from him he sounds positive and glad to hear from me, but there are large chunks of time when he's incommunicado. Hard to tell if that's because of his job (he works third shift), because of lukewarm interest, or just because he's being a man.

So it's confusing. I suppose it isn't really good of me to see them both at once, but at the same time, I've been out with Rick one time, so it isn't like we're exclusive or anything. Dating can be so complicated.

But at the moment, I have two Richards. Well, two in the bush anyway. Not to objectify either of them.

A post in which we go to Columbia

2012-02-12T22:08:00.000-05:00

Tuesday, February 7 is Cole's birthday. Although I had spoken to him on the day, what with the squinky arm and all I didn't get a card in the mail. I had heard from Lisa that we were tentatively scheduling a birthday lunch for today. When I talked to Eve yesterday, she said they planned to leave at about 10am. I accordingly set my alarm, got up, had breakfast and my pills, and got ready.

Then I found the texts from Eve from the night before that first everything had been up in the air again (both Lisa and Cole suffer from a real problem with scheduling), and then that the time had changed. We were having an early supper, and weren't leaving until 2:30pm.

Now there was a golden opportunity to make lunches for next week, or at least go to the grocery store, both of which needed to be done. Unfortunately I ended up squandering that time fooling around online. It happens.

We drove down and met Lisa, Cole, and Ava at a Japanese restaurant (huzzah!). Lisa looked great. Cole, bless his heart, has inherited the skin and acne problems prevalent in my mother's family (as did I). He's going to be a good looking boy when he grows out of it, but his face is pretty torn up at the mo. But he seemed happy to see us, and I was silently thankful for his evolving tastes. The meal today made up for spending his first birthday party at Chuck E Cheese being entertained by frightening animatronic animals that disconcertingly looked as if they slumped dead on the stage between shows.

We enjoyed a pleasant meal, and Ava seemed blessedly pretty normal after spending the weekend with her dad. She's been strangely subdued after her visits, and we've been worried. Maybe there is nothing bad wrong there and she's adjusting.

Today, she was climbing around like a monkey as usual, but suddenly stopped and said, "Uncle Steve!! You're fuzzy!" Then she started petting my head, chanting "Fuzzy, fuzzy, fuzzy!" Not only was it preciously cute, it emphasized that yes, blessedly, my hair and my beard are making appearances of trying to grow back out! I've really missed them. I'm also looking forward to having eyebrows and pubic hair again. I'm just sayin.

By the time we drove back home (Dad drove, in deference to my arm and the long ride) I was pretty tired, but I still had errands to run before I could go to bed. I stopped at two stores on my way home, ran to the post office, and then improvised something to take for lunch next week before I turned in.

A post in which I visit Russ, Billy, and Logan

2012-02-11T23:59:00.004-05:00

Three of my favorite people in the whole wide world.

First though, I had to catch up on the 7,000 errands I had been to incapacitated to do the weekend before. I put together a list in my head and eventually started running errands. Although my arm hurt, and it was butt-ass cold, I did eventually manage to get it all done.

Encouragingly, I heard from Rick today. It was just to tell me that he was going out of town for the weekend, but the tone of his messages was encouraging, and hopefully I'll get to see him again. I'd like to.

Among the errands today was to go pick up my syringes of Lovenox and give myself my first solo injection, which I am happy to say went off without a hitch. The needles you use are really tiny and you barely feel them (they're like insulin needes), but you never know.

Afterwards, with cold-aching hands, I drove to the boys' house. We went out to dinner at a Thai Place I didn't remember even going to it had been so long. Kannikas Thai Kitchen is right on Haywood Road. Apparently the guys eat there more often than I do. I had favored a place here called Thai Sky before they went out of business. Royal Thai on Mauldin Road has great food, but the owner is such a jerk I hate going in there.

For some reason I apparently have an unquenchable yen for curry at the moment, so I elected for a Thai curry. They are pretty hot usually, but after talking to the waiter I ordered mine medium. I like spice, but don't want to cry at the table. The curry was delicious, but it was really, really hot. I wanted to eat it, but in the end I just had to give up. Everyone else seemed tickled with their food. I'll got there again, but I know to order mild next time. Live and learn.

Afterwards we went back to the house and I visited for a while. I talked to Russ, Billy, and Logan about that they had done for me during treatment. I had intended to do this Thursday when I took them to their Thank You dinner, but one thing led to another and I forgot what I had intended to say. When I went to their house, it was like they were tossing me little nuggets of blessed normalcy. I was desperate for that since I felt like my whole world was going crazy. Those little nuggets of my real life were like the pebbles Hansel followed home in the story. They led me through some pretty dark forest.

Except for my insanely hot curry it was a nice evening. It's always good to get some boy time in.

A post in which I'm out on the town with my best girl

2012-02-10T23:59:00.001-05:00

I saw the doc today. I had managed to get most of my frustration under control by then, but I was still pretty flusterpated. Eve went with me to get the details. I was told that my blood was not yet thin enough, and that the daily injections would have to continue. But they agreed to give me the stuff and let me do the injections myself so that I didn't have to do the co-pay every day. He increased my dosage of oral thinners also.

So I went through 'giving yourself a shot' class with Fran, the injection nurse, who has been super nice to me. She was very patient and assured me that she didn't think I would have any problems.

I should be able to have the port out in about a month, barring complications, and I have another 3-4 months of blood thinners ahead of me. I'm thinking that once I get this port out, I'm not going to have any more problems, but taking an extra pill (or three) a day for a while is relatively small potatoes, although there are side effects and complications with blood thinners also, of course. Dad has been on Coumadin for years though, and many people are on it leading basically normal lives. Compared to chemotherapy, it's a freakin cake walk, I'll just tell you.

I called Rhonda from the doc's, and by the time I got over there I was feeling better.

We visited for a while, and checked the web for Vitamin-K rich foods (which are contra-indicated when you're on blood thinners). After being blown away by the sheer scope of foods I"m supposed to avoid, we decided to go to supper.

Tonight I took her to Saffron. I've rhapsodized about Saffron before, but after the last bear dinner a couple of weeks ago I had been pretty impatient to go back. The last time I went I was still afraid to eat spicy food, and I had to order my curry so bland that I was a bit disappointed. Not so tonight. My tummy is back at full strength, and I was able to order my food the way I wanted. I also ordered a sampling of their fantastic appetizers, and finished the meal off with the gulab jamun for dessert. They make the best galub jamun I have ever eaten. They are phenomenal.

Since Rhonda is a light eater, I ate most everything on the table. It was a huge meal, but one that we both enjoyed immensely. After we ate, Rhonda obligingly rolled me out to the car. We went back to her place and visited for a while before I went home and turned in. A capital Friday evening :)

A post in which I go to dinner

2012-02-09T23:59:00.001-05:00

I heard from Eve today. She and Dad are back from New Orleans. They got in last night. I told her about my arm and what's been going on. I purposely hadn't told them while they were out of town because I was afraid that Dad would kill them or get a ticket or something trying to get home. Had they been here there wouldn't have been a thing they could do anyway. She didn't fuss at me, which I had expected.

After my shot today, I went by to see Dad for a minute at the house. He seemed in pretty good spirits, all things considered, and I left feeling better.

After several days of pain and difficulty I made my bed for the first time this week today. I felt encouraged.

I had planned to take Russ, Billy, and Logan out to dinner tonight to celebrate my first alternate Thursday with no chemo since last August (!!). I had considered calling off the dinner earlier in the week because I really didn't feel like celebrating. Also, I got some bad news today. One of the nurses let it slip that the daily shots aren't over tomorrow, as I had thought. That bothers me for two reasons.

First, it's a $25 co-pay every time I go over there. Since I've been over every day this week, that's $125 for the week. I can't afford that every week. For four weeks that's $500. That's more than my house payment. (I have a small house.)

Second and perhaps more importantly, that means this is just going to go on and on. I thought this was over when chemo was finished. It is SO discouraging to be going to the Cancer Center every day. And now this is just going to drag out and out. I felt very discouraged and frustrated, and frankly not a bit like celebrating.

Another source of frustration this week has been that the new guy, Rick, is not responding to me. I've sent texts and emails, and messages through Bear411, but crickets. So he's acting like a man. Dammit.

But Russ remembered that we had plans tonight, and I decided to suck it up and go on and do it. They've been wonderful through all of this, and I have a lot of thank you's still to do. Best to get one knocked down.

But the blows for the day weren't over. I got to the house and kind of unloaded on Billy and Logan. I am just so frustrated with this complication - I want my life back! Then Billy lowered the boom. Our favorite sushi place, our beloved Miyako, has closed. Well more precisely has merged with a place called Irashiai. Now back in the day, Irashiai was da bomb. It was the best sushi place in Greenville. But they changed locations, and things kind of went downhill a bit, and then the food wasn't as good, and finally I just quit going.

After some discussion. we decided to give Irashiai another chance. When we went in, we saw one of our favorite waitresses in the new place. She came over and spoke to us. She then sent the old Miyako manager over to speak to us. She in turn sent over the Irashiai manager to introduce herself. I have to say, we were feeling like valued customers. I felt like a visiting diplomat or something. But Miyako was really kind of a hang-out for us, and they seemed to understand that. The food we had was good. The Mussels Yaki were as good as I remembered. Some things we had were better than others. But we all agreed we would go back. Sadly, some of my favorite rolls may be gone forever. One may not make it onto the new menu (we were told that they were going to add some of the Miyako dishes), and one they were serving as a special that day, but it didn't taste the same. It was good, but not the same.

But we had a good meal, and I thanked them. Plus I felt better about the new complications, so it was a win/win I think.

A post in which I see the doc

2012-02-06T23:59:00.002-05:00

By the time I got through my morning routine and to work I was hurting so badly that I really didn't feel like working on anything. Fortunately my desk is fairly clear right now.

I waited for a call from the Cancer Center. I had been assured that they would call me first thing this morning to schedule an appointment with the doc. I finally called them, only to be told that they most likely would not be informed of anything that happened over the weekend, and that I would have to leave yet another message, which I did.

They did call me back fairly quickly, and I got in to see the doctor. He scheduled me for another sonogram immediately, and got me an injection of blood thinners. He also told me that he thought the same thing that I did, but that the swelling under my arm worried him. If that was a swollen lymph node, that would be a 'bad sign'. I was scared and called Rhonda to go with me to the second sonogram.

The woman that did it basically told me that a) I do have a blood clot; and b) that she really couldn't believe they didn't find it this weekend.

So the blood thinner injections continue, and I have another meeting with the doc on Friday to see if my blood is thin enough, and where we go from here. The pain is supposed to be gone in a couple of days. Lovely.

A post in which my arm hurts

2012-02-05T23:59:00.002-05:00

I got basically nothing done today. It was all I could do to get the sheets changed because my arm was hurthing so badly. I called the Cancer Center and begged the nurse practitioner on duty to do something, but she told me they couldn't give me any blood thinners (the treatment for a clot) until the doctor had seen me. I was very frustrated.

In the end, I wasted most of the day. I finally decided that I had to get up and get cleaned up, and that I could lay around at Russ and Billy's house and be pitiful as well as I could lay around my house.

After a very painful shower I headed their way. We ordered in Chinese food and I had some gorgeous curry shrimp. I'm so glad my tummy is back. I've eaten so much bland food I really have no time set to eat anything bland - like ever again. We watched some telly and I headed home. It was a nice enough evening all things considered.

A post in which complications arise*

2012-02-04T23:59:00.013-05:00

I was thrilled to be out of treatment and had a lovely weekend planned. I talked to a new guy on Bear411 this morning and he sounded nice. We ended up meeting. Rick was nice looking, seemed just as personable in person, and things went well. I am encouraged.

Unfortunately as the day went on my left arm began to *twinge*. "That's odd," I thought. "if I were having a heart attack I think it would hurt worse than this." I went on with my day and ate some lunch. I started to get clothes together for the Ballet Trockadero tonight. But my arm started hurting, and then I noticed it was swollen.

It just so happened that a co-worker whose husband had been through chemotherapy two years ago had the extact same problem - which she had just told me about on Friday. I suspected I had a blood clot in the arm from the port. I called the Cancer Center and they told me to to go to the emergency room for a sonogram. Oy. The emergency room on a Saturday afternoon. I knew it would be a zoo. Also, Gaslight had just come on TCM and I wanted to see it. Why is it that they never put good stuff on TCM on the weekend unless there is no way I can watch?

Anyway. I signed resignedly and packed a bag to take with me in case they admitted me. I know how dangerous a blood clot can be, and I knew this had to be seen to.

The emergency room was of course full. I was there for four and a half freakin hours. I was on a bed in the hall for a while, but fortunately a woman one of the ER cubbies stopped pooping in it and they were able to move me in. Yeah. It smelled worse than the elephant tent at the circus, but at that point I was two and a half hours in and encouraged with any sign of treatment or progress. I missed dinner out with Billy, Russ, Logan, and some friends from Atlanta whom I really wanted to see. I missed the ballet and had to call and cancel.

I finally called Rhonda to see if she was free for dinner. It was looking as if they weren't going to admit me and I was starving. She got there about the time they finished with me.

I was told that I do not have a blood clot (after getting the sonogram from a very nice woman). They did blood work and told me that I didn't have an infection. These are the two most common problems with a port. When I asked why my arm was swollen and purple I was told that the emergency room checked for 'emergent factors' and that I didn't have those. I was instructed to get with my doctor on Monday. If the pain became 'excruciating' I was to come back, but when I asked what they would do that they weren't doing now I really didn't get an answer. Grr.

I was pretty frustrated, but at that point I had been still long enough that my arm wasn't hurting much and I was hungry. It was obvious they weren't going to do anything more.

We left and headed downtown, where Rhonda made an illegal u-turn. Right in front of a cop. Yeah. He pulled us over and checked her license, but nicely let us go with a warning when he realized we weren't drunk or anything. We proceeded to dinner at the wonderful Liberty Taproom, where I had some deliciously spicy buffalo shrimp, a nice salad, and a side of their gorgeous blue cheese cole slaw, which is one of the many reasons I'm glad to still be alive.

After a nice meal we went back to my place to visit and talk for a while. I really love spending time with Rhonda. It was a nice end to a frustrating day. I hate that I had to miss out on all the fun stuff I had planned, but sometimes you just get thrown a monkey-wrench.

A post in which there is a meeting in the ladies room

2012-02-03T23:59:00.003-05:00

Well not quite. But close enough.

I had a call from our Matriarch today, and she pretty much smacked my nose for sending the email I did yesterday. I did know that there would be resistance, but they way I was reprimanded was particularly painful for me.

She told me I wounded her. That my email knocked her down. When I apologized for disappointing her, she corrected me "I wouldn't say you disappointed me. I would say you wounded me." Being our Lady, she was of course gentle, but it put me in a very bad place. One of the things I had a really hard time with during the breakup from my ex was that he had told me that I was insensitive. He told me that I hurt my friends' feelings frequently without realizing it. That was pretty hard for me to deal with. I had finally kind of started to come out from under that pronouncement, but the conversation I had today put me back there. For a bit.

I went to lunch, took a step back for perspective, and thought for a bit. I tried to think if there was any way I could make up for what I had done. I decided all I could do was send an apology, and when I got back I did so. I also realized that I don't think Lady Beth realized how saying what she did would strike such a tender place, and so I was probably overreacting. I decided I needed to lay that down.

Russ invited me to the shop tonight. Miss Kat and dana were going to be there, but when I got there there were a bunch of people there. That worked out perfectly. By the time I got there, I had mostly worked through my chagrin from earlier in the day. Before I went back to the shop I nipped home and wrapped Rhonda's thank you present. I knew she was going to be there, and after the day I'd had I needed to do something nice to make myself feel better. The timing of the gift was a little bit selfish, but she seemed to really love the present.

Rhonda collects little porcelain hinged boxes. Among such collectors, the Limoges Box is highly prized. She had told me at Christmas that although she still collected boxes, she had given up on ever owning a real Limoges Box. I knew little to nothing about them, but it seemed like relatively small dream to be able to make come true. After doing the reading and looking at literally hundreds of boxes online, I ordered her one. I had also bought her a pair of amethyst earrings, after finding out that she preferred them to diamonds. So I added the earrings to thetrinkets that came with the box.

I love to give Rhonda gifts. She loves getting them so much, and I got a really big reaction tonight that was most gratifying, and purged most of the sting from earlier.

We went on to have pizza and a lively round table discussion about some concerns we all have with the family before an emailed moratorium from our Lady abruptly ended the discussion. We're to have a gatherin' o' the clan on March 4 to hash some things out.
In the meantime, I went home and to bed. It's been a rough day.

A post in which it's been a while - sorry 'bout that

2012-01-10T13:27:00.003-05:00

The truth is, there's been a lot going on.

I lost my voice in May. We didn't really know why. The doctor didn't either. After a very frustrating diagnostic square-dance that went on for three months, they told me I had Mixed-Cellularity subtype Hodgkin's Lymphoma. Cancer.

I've been through five months of ABVD chemotherapy now. It is by far the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. Treatment makes me nauseated and dizzy, among other things. I've lost almost all my hair (everywhere) and about 10 pounds (which I could well afford to lose). I have a port in my chest. The drug regimen has done irreparable damage to my lungs, and I'll never be able to have (pure, medical-grade) oxygen as a treatment again.

But the last PET scan they did was clear, and after going in with 50/50 odds of survival (which really makes you stop and think, trust me), they think I'm going to live.

It' been quite an experience. I have two treatments left. I go in on the 12th for treatment #11, and then my last chemo is scheduled for the 26th.

My dad has really stepped up to the plate and been wonderful. We had a talk a couple of weeks ago that I wish we'd had 20 years ago. I feel closer to him than I have in my life. My mother, after initially freaking out a bit (understandably) has stepped up as well, and she'll be here to go to treatment with me this week.

The Kindred have all be fantastic. Rhonda in particular has been a rock, and helped me so much I don't think I could have done this without her.

One of my big fears has always been that I would have something badly wrong with me, and that I wouldn't have anyone to look after me. I've been very surprised at how my friends and family have rallied round and really been there for me.

My perspectives have changed, understandably. I've been really surprised at how people I thought I didn't know that well have gone out of their way to do something special or extend a kindness. It's really restored my faith in people in a way.

I don't hold life casually any longer. There was a time, after Michael left, when I wondered why I was still here, why I was hanging around - what was the point? When I got my diagnosis, I was ready to go home to God if it was time for that, but I'm glad it isn't time yet. I want to see what kind of man my nephew Cole makes - he's a phenomenal guy. I want to see my little niece Ava grow up, and go to her wedding. I want to be here to take care of my mother when she needs me. I want to have time to get to know my sister as a person, and enjoy her. I want time to spend with my friends, to travel, or visit, or just enjoy their company. So sticking around doesn't seem quite so pointless any longer.

My sister Cindy hasn't been in touch. Not even a card. I'm still conflicted about that. I try not to live my life in reproach, but I'm going to have a hard time moving past that.

So I've learned about people, and about myself. I've been forced into a position that I had to take from and rely on others - never something I was good at. Rhonda says that's part of the lessons I was supposed to learn from this. I've been forced into a place that I HAD to take things one day at a time, after a lifetime of worrying about tomorrow and planning. When there is no other choice, sometimes you just have to keep putting one foot in front of the other. And sometimes that's enough.

Would I have gone through this to learn the lessons I have? I don't know, honestly. But I'm going to take what good from it I can, and leave the bad behind. And that's the most important lesson. Trouble will find it's way if it's coming - don't borrow it or go looking for it. If things are good, be happy and enjoy them - wring every bit of joy out of them that you can. Because that's what it's about. Finding and enjoying the happy.

A post with some overdue pictures of my new living room

2011-04-19T06:31:00.001-04:00

I figured you would want to see them. 'Bout time...

A post in which I have Nicole over

2011-04-13T23:12:00.002-04:00

I finally got in touch with Lisa today about this weekend. We had planned this coming one as a visit weekend for me to visit her, but then her schedule filled, and I realized I had the Hat Party this Sunday. I haven’t had time to make any hat, so I’ll be wearing a baseball cap and a sheepish grin I suppose.

Since Cole’s team has a game up here this weekend, they’ll be up Saturday and I’ll join them there. Then there is a bear dinner Saturday night, and the Hat Party on Sunday. Another crazy busy weekend coming up. I also didn’t take the day off on Monday, so I’ll be in Monday morning drug out like a dirty rug. Since I took this past Monday off I guess it’s just as well I don’t have another one scheduled.

I hadn’t seen Nicole in a while, so I sent her a text on a lark today. She called me a couple of times last month, but things were so insane that I couldn’t find any time to do anything. Wednesday now is really my only free evening during the week. I don’t have things scheduled on Monday, but usually I’m either so exhausted I collapse when I get in from work, or (as this past Monday) making up for chores I didn’t do over the weekend because I was playing.

Unfortunately Nicole had to put one of her cats to sleep today, but she wanted to come over anyway. I can understand wanting to get out of the house after that. We worked it out and she got to the house about 8. I spent the time waiting surfing the web searching for Eve’s birthday present. She has let it be known (in her own inimitable fashion) that she wants a fancy birdhouse for her new flower bed. I know the kind she wants. Unfortunately the sell for about a hundred bucks, and I’m not going to plunk that down for a birdhouse. I’m going to consult with Dad.

Nicole admired the new living room, and we ate pizza and caught up on each other’s lives and relevant gossip. It was really good to see her.

A post in which I am able to help Cole

2011-04-12T22:55:00.001-04:00

I had dinner with the rents tonight. We just went to Portofino's, where the food continues to be superlative. We also had a waiter tonight who was so hot I could have thrown him over the table and eaten him on the spot. I tried not to look too much since Dad was there, but sheesh. Yes it is spring, and George has again come out of hibernation with a vengeance. It's enough to make you nostalgic for winter.

After supper I visited with them for a while. Typical Tuesday, and I was glad of it. There's been too much to deal with lately.

On the way home I had a call from Cole. He was working on a project for Spanish class, and his teacher told him he could get extra credit if he made an authentic Spanish dish called "Tortilla de Patatas". He was asking me for pointers. When he started describing it, it just sounded like a frittata to me. I know how to make that, but he insisted it was something different. I thought about it the rest of the way home, and eventually figured that it had the same ingredients and assembly, so the cooking methods would be similar anyway. I was able to call and offer him some tips to make it easier for him. I can't help him with sports, and would despair of trying to help with school work, but this I could help with. It made me feel good.

Cole with his "Tortilla de Patatas", or Frittata, or whatever the hell it is. It looks good though.

I looked it up later. Basically, the Tortilla de Patatas, or Tortilla de Papas, is the Spanish version of a frittata, which is Italian. So I was a little bit right. I've never cared for frittata because to get it done through you have to dry out the eggs. It looks like it turned out OK though.

A post in which I feel kinda crappy*

2011-04-11T22:20:00.000-04:00

I woke up this morning exhausted and not feeling well. It's the height of allergy season, and I was outside too much the last couple of days. I really over-did it this weekend, and because I played so much there was a lot of stuff I needed to do, not to mention I was sleep-deprived from all the night hours and early mornings.

Eventually I got it together a bit and put some laundry in. I got my valances up in the living room to finish it (finally). I cooked the squash I bought yesterday for lunches, hauled all over town, and then didn't have time to cook. I took a nap. I even had a buddy in.

By the end of the day I was back together enough to feel like I could start the week. Oy. Yeah, now the work starts. I have got to slow down.

A post in which I am madly glassing

2011-04-10T23:40:00.001-04:00

Well Russ and I made plans last night to go to the flea market. He said we did before, and we may have, but I didn't remember it. I was up so late last night, and had so much to do that I kind of didn't want to go, but I haven't been in so long, and the weather has been so gorgeous, and Russ was singing his siren song, and frankly I just couldn't resist.

What a flea market day! The weather was gorgeous and the vendors were out, and wherever I looked it seemed there was glass. I hadn't really come with great expectations, but found a Royal Lace sugar bowl almost before we got started. I usually don't like that pattern in green, and I am faithfully sworn to STOP buying cream pitchers and sugar bowls, but it was priced at about a quarter what it was worth, and I just couldn't resist. It had been so long since I had bought anything.

Then I found a Queen Mary tumbler for a quarter, and obviously I couldn't leave that. That was followed by the find of the day, a green Princess vegetable bowl. The woman selling it usually has high prices on her stuff, and it's usually pretty beat up to boot; but apparently she was there to sell today, and I couldn't find a chip on this piece. I picked that up at about half price.

I bought a small bubble bowl for my set (I found one yesterday also, coincidentally), and then as we did the last row I found a green Patrician "Spoke" creamer. OK, it was a creamer, and I don't usually care for the pattern. But it's prettier in green - usually you see it in amber, and I don't like amber glass. The guy wanted $5 for it, and at that point there was no way. Eventually, after half walking away (I really didn't need it) he sold it to me for a buck. For that price, I couldn't leave it. It's in perfect condition too. So I was naughty. I really have to stop buying cream and sugar sets.

Patrician "Spoke" in green by Federal Glass Co., circa 1933 to 1937

Royal Lace sugar bowl in green by Hazel-Atlas, circa 1934-1941

Queen Mary 9oz flat tumbler in pink by Anchor Hocking, circa 1936-1949

Princess 9" vegetable bowl in green by Anchor Hocking, circa 1931 - 1935

I got in touch with Sabrina, and agreed on a time to get the chair. We left the flea market, picked up Billy, got the chair, and then stopped for lunch at Pho Noodleville, a haunt of Russ and Billy's. It's OK, they just don't give you very much food. But it was fine for lunch, and I hadn't eaten anything. I was so hungry at that point it was any point in a storm.

After lunch we went back to my place and stashed the chair in the green room. It does look good in there, and it doesn't get on my nerves the way the wing backs did for some reason. It's a nice piece. Either that will become it's home or I'll find someplace for it eventually.

We were off to Spartanburg for dinner tonight, but we were all pretty worn out. Russ and I had been on the go all day, and Billy's back is messed up. After a short, blissful interlude in my new living room, which I am growing to love more and more, it was time to hit the road again. We all got cleaned up and headed for Spartanburg.

Dinner at Jeff and James's house tonight was rather avaunt-guard. We had a beet and apple salad and lemon pepper fish. It was a nice meal. Morgan and Andrew were there, and Amanda. After dinner everyone relaxed, Morgan painting designs on people with a henna kit she had brought. It was a little nippy to be outside, but we were out on the front porch anyway. Lovliness.

A post in which it is a busy Saturday

2011-04-09T23:59:00.002-04:00

I had a quite ambitious day planned today, but I didn’t exactly get a running start at it. Since I was up so late last night I was still in my jammies when Justin got to the house to view the new living room color and help hang pictures. First, though, we had tea and ate the bagels he brought. It was good to see Justin, it’s been a while. We have a lot of interests in common, and whenever I see him we fall right back in together as if we had just seen each other the day before.

I moved some of the pictures in the living room around, and took still more out. This is the second time I have decreased the amount of pictures in there, and I like it. The less stuff I have in my little house, the larger it seems. I’m trying out a new motto in my head: ‘Less is freedom.' It feels right, but it’s easier to proclaim than to put into practice, particularly for a collector.

With the pictures hung, Jeff and James dropped by to make pictures for their website for the new business. We made plans for lunch, and met at Corona’s on Wade Hampton. Although this was the site of the lousy nachos last week, I got a different kind today and they were much better.

After lunch Justin and I split off to do some antiquing, because that’s what we do. We did a mini-run to Greer and looked around a bit but didn’t buy much. I did fall in love with an $1100 linen press, but didn’t buy it, despite Justin’s encouragement. It is a lovely thing, but I have spent a lot of money this spring.

I was pretty horrified to realize while we were out that I had completely forgotten to go and get a chair I was supposed to pick up from Rhonda's ex Sabrina today. Rhonda moved away but couldn't take it and offered it to me. I don't really have a place for it, but agreed to take it because it is such a great chair. There was nothing to do but apologize profusely to Sabrina. She was nice about it.

When Justin left to go home I braced myself for another Saturday night alone. I had just seen Miss Kat and dana last night, and Russ and Billy had plans. But I had plenty to do at the house. Shortly after I got home though, Russ got in touch to say that they had decided to stay home after all. He invited Miss Kat, dana, and me over.

We all went and sat on his lovely deck for a while. I discussed the linen press thing with Billy, who helped me to realize that it would be insane to spend that much money on a piece of furniture to put shoes in. Hello.

We headed out to dinner at Stax Omega. Unfortunately they have cut their menu back severely and didn’t have what I wanted, but of course it wasn’t a problem for me to find something to eat. We just went back to the house and hung out until it was time to turn in. It was a nice, laid back visit, and I really enjoyed it. It was good to see Russ and Billy. It’s hard to catch up with them.

A post in which it is a rough Friday at work

2011-04-08T23:59:00.001-04:00

Today was a terrible day at work. Not only did I find out I have to make a trip to Texas that will be a complete waste of time, I also set off a computer bug in our system that sent 5,000 (yes, literally 5,000+, not a humorous exaggeration) emails out to the company from my email address. After IT got the problem shut down, I had to go in and clean up my email. By that point I was pretty much done for the day.

Just as I was getting ready to leave, Miss Kat called to invite me for dinner. That was a nice end to the day. I had a very pleasant meal and visit with them.

On the way home, however, I succumbed to temptation and stopped for another complete dinner. Which I ate while I stayed up way too late watching trash TV and basically just being lazy. It wasn’t even that good. I’m pretty disgusted with myself, but tomorrow is another day. And Saturday!

A post in which I go sing

2011-04-07T23:04:00.000-04:00

I woke up at about 4:30 this morning, the list of all the things I had to do today running through my mind. It was all just too much. After about an hour of that I just decided to get up. I knew I wasn’t going back to sleep. I’ve slept poorly this week.

Then I did something against my principals. Although I have paid to have my taxes prepared, I have always refused to pay any fee to file them electronically. I think the government gets enough of my money, and I just refuse to pay for something that saves them money and allows them to file their staff (even if they are tax collectors). But I was tired of fooling with the tax crap, and it needed to be done because I’ve put it off, and I had the wrong form (well actually I didn’t, but I didn’t know that at the time), etc. So I signed on to the H&R Block website and paid them $31 to send my state taxes in. I hated it, but I did it, and I felt better to have that done.

I have a bad case of spring fever, and it was really hard to concentrate at work today. I did what had to be done though.

I did take some time to write about going up home for Granny’s funeral today, and felt the better for it. I wonder now if writing is starting to become a coping mechanism for me. When the blog is badly behind, I go around feeling like there’s an unmade bed in the back of my head somewhere. I also have all these bottled up impressions rattling around in my mind. It’s uncomfortable. I’ve been kind of unresolved about the funeral in a way. I think I’ve worked out what was going on but writing it out made me feel better.

After work I was scheduled to run the gamut. I had to leave and go directly to Russ to get my hair cut, and then leave there to go directly to choir practice. It was a good thing I was up early this morning to pack a bag and all. After debating I just decided to catch supper on the fly somewhere, but it ended up working out. Russ’s back is bad so he called to beg off, which left me time to go home, eat, change, and feed the cats in a civilized fashion.

Choir practice was fun tonight. I’m really enjoying it. I’m always happiest when I’m singing somewhere – it really doesn’t matter where. But I am having a tiny conflict with it. Jim told us tonight that he had a job for a quartet to sing for a big Republican conservative reception downtown coming up. He emphasized that we needed the money, but that we would be there to blend in to the background, and were expected to sing a selection of patriotic standards. We would be allowed to give out business cards. One guy remarked, “Wow, good thing we don’t have ‘gay’ in our name.” Jim indicated that the woman retaining our services was a wealthy socialite and a valuable source for future gigs.

Now on the one hand I applaud Jim for putting together a working chorus that is actually part of the community. He has some community events scheduled where we will be able to be ourselves, and that’s great. But on the other hand, I thought I was joining a GAY men’s chorus. I understand he’s trying to make a living from this eventually, and really I don’t have a problem with that. It’s work to put together something like this and make it functional. But. I don’t do many things any more (none at all if I can possibly help it) where I am required to go in the closet or sit at the back of the bus. This isn’t a huge thing right now. The quartet is a volunteer thing, and even if I wanted to do it I’m not ready. I guess it will depend on where this goes. If you’re hiring out to sing, you sing what the client wants. I understand that. But if we end up spending an inordinate amount of time as ‘the help’, rather than the entertainers, particularly for people who look down on us, I’m gonna have a problem with that.

A post in which I briefly debate the nature of charity

2011-04-06T22:20:00.005-04:00

I had an agenda tonight. I think I may have taken on a bit too much schedule-wise.

Tonight I had to go to the pharmacy, the grocery store, do a load of towels, and do my state taxes. The errands were run, and I was tearing into the house when I was approached by a guy. He was walking down the street, and I first thought Crap, he wants money. But he asked to cut the grass so he could get some food, so I said sure. I quickly got the groceries in, got the mower out, determined (of course) that I had no gas, and ran to the store to get some.

As I was on the way to the station, I happened to think that I had left this man on the front porch with my lawn mower sitting in the yard. That wasn’t a particularly smart thing to do, but I didn’t think they would be gone when I got back, and they weren’t. I put him to work, put the towels in, and futzed around the house while he worked outside.

A rather elegant solution to a dilemma presented itself. Amanda had left Chinese food with chicken in it in my fridge. (I loathe it when people leave meat in my house. I feel guilty if I eat it, and I feel guilty if I throw it out, so it’s a lose/lose.) I had resolutely decided to eat it for supper (the only thing worse than an animal dying so that I can eat is an animal dying so that I can eat and ending up in the trash), but I decided instead to feed it to the guy, whose name I discovered was Wayne. I heated it up, fixed Wayne a to-go box, poured him some soda, and sent him on his way when he finished. Of course I paid him as well.

I don’t know if I get credit for that or not. I don’t think feeding the poor your left-overs is particularly generous, but it was something I was going to eat myself. Does giving someone something that you don’t want count as charity? I’ll let the philosophers decide.

I ate my own supper and sat down with the best of intentions to finish the state taxes, but found I had pulled the wrong forms offline. I wanted the EZ, and had the regular 1040, so I put that aside and just vegged out on RuPaul’s Drag Race, my latest semi-addiction and excuse for not getting squat done. Eventually I put the towels in the dryer and toddled off to bed. I have a long day tomorrow.

A post in which I have supper with the folks

2011-04-05T21:48:00.000-04:00

Today was better. Not massively better – I still had to work – but I got through it with only the usual number of murderous impulses, instead of the usual tenfold.

I had supper out with Dick and Eve tonight, as is pretty usual for Tuesdays. We went to Don Pablo’s, a place I’ve never particularly cared for, but I’ve been a couple of times lately and it’s OK. The other alternative was a place near their house that is incredibly noisy inside. Ugh. I understand the restaurant trend to concrete floors. They’re durable, easy to clean, etc, but for God’s sake put a rug down, or a plant, or something to muffle the noise. It’s like eating in a freakin airport or something OK?

We went back to the house after supper and I visited for a while. I told them about my living room. They really love stories where I end up looking silly, so they enjoyed that.

It was a nice evening.

A post in which I re-load the room

2011-04-04T21:52:00.001-04:00

It was a nerve-shredding day. Not only was it month-end, but there are apparently gremlins in the works in the area where I sit now, and they were having a field day today. Of course, just when I am the busiest. The up-side of having 8,000,000 simultaneous reports due is that if the system for one is screwing up, you can just move to another. Additionally, since I had all those new clients last week, there were a slew of phone calls to make.

The painting was completed about 2pm. James sent me a text before they left.

Despite the rotten day I was excited to get home, even though I had to clean. When I walked in, I put my stuff down and just stood for a moment savoring how gorgeous and different it looked. I swept and mopped the living room floor, put the blinds back up, and brought the furniture back in. Later on I turned the lamps on.

This was my beautiful perfect color, which I had spent an inordinate amount of time deciding on, and then gone to get a paint chip to live with for a year (well.. not really on purpose for that long) to make sure it was perfect. This was the perfect shade between melon and terra cotta. And in the lamplight, it was screaming, Crayola Clemson orange. I swear I heard “Hold That Tiger” in my head. The walls almost seemed to glow. I could hear a low throbbing sound, as if the color was pulsating slowly. I turned on the TV and tried to talk myself down a bit. I really love it in the daytime. I wanted something dramatically different, and this is. It will be better when all my pictures are back up.

I’ll get used to it. I think it will be fine when I get the pictures back up. I’ve been advised not to do so for a week to allow the paint to cure a bit. Can’t have vapor-lock.

A post in which I show off my new living room color!! WOOO HOO!!!

2011-04-03T22:11:00.002-04:00

Today, of course, was very busy.

Jeff, James, and Amanda showed up around 9, and got to work. I was very busy making coffee, trying to keep the kitchen straight, making lunches, and doing a few little house things. It was a pleasant cacophony of a house full of friends getting things done. We mixed the paint for the ceiling by eye on the porch to start.
I wanted to recycle an old Christopher Lowell trick. We mixed a bit of the wall paint into the ceiling paint; just enough to make it a very, very pale reflection of the walls. What I wanted was for it to change the color of the light in there. When they started putting the Georgia Queen up it looked very pink next to the purple walls. I was calling the color ‘palest, palest baby’s breath of shrimp’, but Amanda hit the nail on the head and named the color Georgia Queen. That was about perfect.

When they started priming the walls, I was surprised to see that that primer was dark gray – almost as gray as the purple. Jeff explained to me that the Sherwin-Williams man had explained to them that to cover such a dark color they would have to use a dark primer. We covered the bedroom with no such affectations, but I wasn’t going to argue with a professional.

The primer coat was finished shortly before I left for lunch. Jeff refused to put a lick of the color on the walls until I left the house, so they could do a ‘reveal’ later. I was happy enough to comply.

Lunch went well. Ava was in a good mood, and Eve had laid a very nice table in the dining room. Lisa’s family had left right from church, so everyone was more dressed up than I was, but oh well. We ate and visited for a while. Lisa was telling us about her recent problems with Ava’s separation anxiety now that she’s in pre-school; and of her own job search, which is proving to be arduous.

I was as patient as I could possibly be, and of course I enjoyed seeing Ava and Cole (despite the fact that he spent most of the visit comatose in the floor, covered by a blanket to the top of his head – we couldn’t even see him), but I was dying to get home to see what was going on.

After three hours I just couldn’t stand it anymore. I excused myself and scrambled home, where painting was still in progress. They were beginning the fifth coat of paint on the walls when I got there. The coverage over that dark gray primer had been a problem. Paint people at the store always act like you’re trying to cross the Sierras on foot or something if you use a dark color, but if you just use primer its fine. The tinted primer is fantastic, but I think the guys got some bad advice from that SW guy.

Anyway, they went on painting, and the fifth coat did the trick. The color came true, and was gorgeous. We had planned to have people to my place tonight for Sunday supper, but Russ and Billy were of course late getting back from Savannah and begged off. Morgan and Matthew cancelled too, so it was just the four of us.

I went and picked up some Chinese food for everyone, and we ate on the porch. It was a gorgeous night. They started on the trim, but it was getting late, and they had been at it all day. Eventually, James called it a day, and said they would have to finish tomorrow, which was pretty much what I had figured.

A post in which we go to see Granny

2011-03-24T23:28:00.000-04:00

Today was the day of the immediate family viewing, but that wasn’t until 1pm. In the meantime, I had missions.

I made breakfast, giving the kitchen bare minimum of a going over in the process and removing the mouse poop from counters and such. I made the bed in the front room for Lisa and Carl, and then I headed out.

I had shoes to buy today. Apparently during my marvelous adult competency when I was getting ready to go I forgot to pack my dress shoes for the funeral. I had seen a couple of shoe places near town, one of which ended up having a surprising selection of exactly what I wanted for a very fair price. The clerk who checked me out was very kind.

I also made an unusual foray through Wal-Mart, where I seldom ever shop. Although they’ve already put them away at home, the ones here still had sweatpants out, and I replaced my long worn and patched single pair today. It just seemed like the time for some reason.

I went to Granny’s house and had a sandwich with Mom before we went to the funeral home.

Viewing Granny’s body today was oddly not upsetting to me. It’s hard to explain. She looked good enough; she just looked empty. It was so obvious to me that she wasn’t in there anymore. Plus it was odd because of what was going on. My Great Aunt Kathleen (Granny’s sister) was there, and was determined that all would be done properly. Granny looked odd because her mouth was too wide. “That happens to them,” Kathleen said, with the air of a veteran of many funerals. “You can just have them patch the corners of the mouth a little, and they look better.” After she related this several times to several people, her request was dutifully reported to the mortuary, and a man with a pot of clay and some makeup to make the change was dutifully dispatched.

Well she did look better, but they only fixed the side that faced out. If you looked from the feet up, her mouth looked strangely lop-sided. I don’t know if it was still denial on my part, or that this made it patently obvious how useless what they were doing was, or if I’m just messed up; but it would have been funny if this had been on TV or something. As it was, it was just rather surreal. I wasn’t laughing or anything, but it was just so obvious to me that my Granny was no part of any of this.

Granny hadn’t been to church in years, so she had no minister. Kathleen brought hers. He was a nice-looking man (again, weirdness – how could I be thinking about this now?). He talked to us about scripture we wanted read, and asked for anecdotes about Granny, which we supplied. Before long the family stories got started and I think he got more than he bargained for. And then it was done, and we left. Mom cried a little while we were there. She said Granny looked so much better than when she was in the hospital, and she did. That’s supposed to be part of the grieving process I have read. It helps some people to see the person clean and dressed and seen to, and I can understand that. But I was strangely rather numb through the whole thing.

When we got back to the house the family started coming in. The other grandkids were arriving with their kids and people were coming through to visit the family. There weren’t that many visitors. Granny and Poppy had outlived most of their friends and family. But there was one key visitor.

I’m not sure what obscure relation Stephanie is to me, but she is a bit off. She doesn’t seem to have the same kinds of filters other people have. And her marriage has been rather troubled of late. Her apparently long-suffering husband had been looking after her for years when he had a stroke. The stroke has apparently changed him, and their relationship became much more volatile. During an especially volatile argument at their house last week, he apparently threatened to kill her. She locked him out of the house. He proceeded to get the gun out of the car (we’re in the mountains here) and shot her through the door. He hit her in the leg, but family shootings are rare, he was still in jail, and this was pretty fresh. There had been almost as much talk about Stephanie as there had been about Granny. We’d had the second-hand blow-by-blow from her step-mother the day before.

Stephanie showed up in person today, and gave us the first-hand. In excruciating detail. For about an hour and a half. And so much more. She was a very sweet woman, but I don’t think she breathed in more than twice the whole time she was here. Eventually, every man in the house beat a retreat for the porch – including me. My cousin Chris, who is with the sheriff’s office, said “I think he was aiming for her mouth. I can shoot better than that.” Which pretty much capped it all.

Lisa and co. arrived later. We stayed and visited with the family, but not too late. We had a baby who had to get to bed sometime, and decisions to make about who slept where. We got back to Grandma’s house and Lisa’s family started their way to bed. Frankly, I was mostly worn out anyway, and they finished the job. I went on to bed.

A post in which I make a visit

2011-03-23T23:45:00.001-04:00

This morning, of course, there were things to do.

The house looked a little worse in the light. I knew Lisa would have a fit if she saw it the way it was, so I swept out some of the dead bugs in the floor, made my bed, and tried to make it look a bit more presentable. Then I cleaned out the bathroom a bit and got ready for the day. By the time I had done all that it was seriously time for some breakfast.

I stopped at a little diner called the Coffee House, where kind young women brought me Waffle-House-esque food. I ran to the grocery store to pick up a few groceries for the house so there was something there to eat. I figured Lisa would have enough on her hands. Travelling with my three-year-old niece is a bit like moving Hannibal’s army across the Alps.

That done, the next thing was to go see Grandma. She and Granny were in the same nursing home. Since Grandma gets around pretty well in her chair and is usually on top of everything, she knew all that had happened, knew the family would be coming in, and would be waiting for me. I hate to make her wait, but she’s up and ready to roll (literally) at about 6am, and I just can’t keep up with that.

I found her at Bingo and joined her. We chatted a bit as she played a couple of rounds. The woman on the other side of me wanted help with her card though, and began to get a bit insistent. Grandma wasn’t too fond of that. She likes for my focus to be on her. So eventually she decided she had already won twice, and that we should just go back to her room, which we did. Grandma is very hard of hearing, but doesn’t always ask for her hearing aid. She was very proud of how well she was doing without it today, but in the interest of a better visit I called the nurse and got it for her.

I hardly ever bring Grandma anything. She fusses that cut flowers are wasteful, and that she can’t keep them because the nurses kill them with cold water. My dad and uncle keep her well-stocked with anything she needs, and anything they can think of that she might want, and of course she needs less now in the way of stuff than she used to. She catches me up on the latest tribulations with her roommate, who is apparently wearing her socks. She’s pretty unhappy about that, but overall, she is content enough.

At 90 now, she’s still impatient with being in a wheelchair, and on every visit tells me again that her biggest prayer is to get up and walk again. It’s good that she is still herself, and that she knows me and we can visit, but there are only so many things I can tell her about my life. Many parts of it would upset her, and they’re things she doesn’t need to know. But we still know each other, and we still can feel the bond between us. It is at once comforting and disturbing. She’s so trapped in an increasingly painful and non-functioning body. I tell her the things I can, and the things I can get her to hear, in a fairly short amount of time. She doesn’t want me to go, I can tell, and she tries to think up other things to talk to me about. I like it best when she tells me stories about her life and things she did when she was younger, but she doesn’t do that today. Today she’s anchored in the day, and the goings on, and seeing my mother and her sisters coming and going when Granny passed. Eventually, I walk beside her as she heads in to lunch, talking a bit on my way out. I give her some hugs and kisses in the hall. She tells me she won’t follow me to the door because “It upsets your daddy when I do that.”

When I get back to Granny’s they aren’t back from the funeral home yet. They were making the arrangements today. I lean the seat back in the car and doze for a bit, glad enough to have a moment to myself, but before long they’re back. Lunch is on the agenda, and we head out to another little local watering hole to eat. I’m glad not to go to a chain. As we walk in, we can see a display of locally home-made cakes and pies. The coconut cake was really good.

We went back to the house for planning, and because people would be coming in. Granny’s sister-in-law brought in one of her famous homemade strawberry cakes (which I adore, and she knows it), and visited. But I was feeling bad. My Epstein-Barr was acting up and I felt worse and worse. Eventually I had to excuse myself. I went upstairs, found an as-yet unoccupied bedroom and lay down for a while.

When I woke I felt better, but felt guilty for abandoning Mom to an afternoon of receiving. I was supposed to be here to support her, but thus far all I’ve done is eat meals with her. I apologized, and rand to Grandma’s house for a quick refresher and a change of shirts before supper.

Supper tonight was more intimate. Mom is doing better. There is no way to prepare for your mother dying, but she had a little distance from it at this point, and was getting used to it. Aunt Donna had run home for the night, so it was just my mother’s older sister and her husband tonight. We went to Applebee’s and had a nice meal and talked more about more current things. Afterwards it was back to Grandma’s by myself, but it was OK. I switched some light bulbs out and go the fixture in the bedroom working (I forgot to buy light bulbs), and try to read for a while. Tomorrow there is stuff to do. Again.

A post in which I head for home

2011-03-22T17:36:00.003-04:00

However I tried not to think about it, obviously life went on. Or stopped rather. Granny died about 11:30 this morning. I had known this was happening. When Lisa called me, she told me that Mom told her not to come up yet. Lisa was waiting for Mom to tell her when to come, and for plans to be made, etc. I thought about that, but then just thought if not now when? I decided to leave. I just compartmentalized and went on. I knew I had to get the weekly reports put together before I left, and I did.

I went through the motions of getting out of town mechanically, kind of watching myself from a distance and marveling at the competence of this stranger, whoever the hell he was, and a wondering a bit about how he could be so callous when someone had just died. Sometimes I'm surprised to find myself an adult. But that’s what you do. You cope, and you go on. The world doesn’t stop turning. I didn’t even call Mom. I just headed that way. I ran in to a huge traffic jam at the state border, and ended up sitting there, barely creeping, for over an hour and a half. Eventually I did text Mom so she wouldn’t worry. She just sent back “OK”. She knew I would be on the way. I called Lisa too, so she wouldn’t think I was sneaking off up there without telling her. She has the kids and stuff so I’m a bit more mobile. She was fine. Rod is sick, so Mom was up there by herself, and she said she was glad I was going on.

When I got there, they were at the house waiting for my Aunt Donna, the youngest, to arrive. I rarely see my aunts and their husbands, so we visited and caught up a bit. I was the only one of the grandchildren there. We went on to Ruby Tuesday’s for supper. We visited and talked at Granny’s house until late, my mother and her sisters teasing each other the way sisters do.

When it was time for bed I went on to Grandma’s house. I had called Dad earlier today and he had my Uncle Chris open the house for us. No one has lived there since Grandma went to the nursing home. The house didn’t do much to lift my spirits, having sat empty long enough to start to get scruffy. There has apparently been a serious mouse problem because there’s poop in everything. As far as it is out in the country it’s almost impossible to keep the mice down.

On the one hand, it’s a comforting place to be. My grandparents lived there from the time I was born. I helped my grandfather build the fireplace in the den, carrying the bricks into the house for him one by one, the brown knit work gloves huge on my child’s hands. I stayed here with them one summer, just before I started to become a man, my grandmother making ham and eggs for my breakfast. I stuffed myself on her home-grown green beans (my favorite) until I got a stomach ache, and taped paper airplanes to the ceiling of the bedroom at the front of the house. I went to sleep with the windows open, the attic fan pulling the soft night air into the house to the protest of screaming cicadas. When I was a teen-ager I drove up to visit. A trip to Grandma's was the first I ever made on my own. I was so proud to get there with (almost) no directions. The summer of my junior year, I painted the eaves, windows, and doors for her. She insisted on paying me $100. I know every nook and cranny.

It makes me sad to see it as it is now; kind of grungy and neglected, like a once-cherished teddy bear it is about time to discard. It smells musty. All three of the light bulbs in the bedroom fixture were burnt out. But there were clean sheets there my uncle left for me. I plugged in a lamp, made my grandmother’s small bed, and turned in. I put my feet down between the end of the mattress and the footboard and went to sleep in the perfectly quiet early spring night.

A post in which I get bad news

2011-03-21T22:05:00.001-04:00

It was a reasonably nice day at work today. As good as Mondays ever are, at any rate. I stopped on the grocery store on the way home to pick up a few things. While I was there, Mom called.

They called the family in on Granny Brown, and she was on the way up home. Granny has been in hospice for over a month now, but things are apparently turning to the worst. Mom just wanted me to know what was going on. For some reason, I went home and frantically made lunches anyway. I guess it’s a denial thing. Southern people are really good at that.

So I made a huge mess, cleaned it all up, and went to bed. I also called Scott, who didn’t answer the phone. I left him a message.

A post in which it is a nice Sunday*

2011-03-20T22:20:00.011-04:00

Well as if I didn’t get enough rest yesterday, I planned to spend today as a rest day. My last couple of weekends have been action-packed. A rest day just wasn’t in the cards though. Russ set up a brunch for this morning for us with Scott, since he was staying over last night. That was great. I got the critter-call about 9:30am (which is breakfast in my book, thank you very much), but it turned out that it was a good thing Russ called early. When I got to the house I went to wake up Scott, one thing led to another, and the virtue I had built up last night was wiped away in the blink of an eye.

We did go out to breakfast, and had a good appetite. Breakfast was good, but surprisingly expensive. We went to the Marriott off of Pelham. I had been there before with Dad, and was surprised at the small crowd. That little mystery was solved today. So points for the food, and points for it not being a mad-house (there are a surprisingly small number of breakfast places in Greenville, which always makes it a bit of a crush), but $15 a plate is a bit pricey to me for breakkies. I used to pay it gladly at Johann's (God rest his soul), but that man turned out food that would make angels weep it was so good. Then again, he had cooked for the crowned heads of Europe. Deservedly. And lucky them. It's a sad story. But I digress.

So Scott went on home (he gave me his phone # - yay), and I tried not to ruminate too much on the fact that he just lost his job last week. After 10 years at the same place though, and he’s only 42. Besides, hello, he hasn’t asked for me to marry him or anything. At that point I got a call from my old friend Michael. I had at long last decided to give him the Ethan-Allen wingbacks which have graced my living room lo these many years. They have been good chairs, and still look good, but a) I have a man chair now and their crowdin' me; b) I’ve been a bit in conflict over having two large pieces of leather furniture for a while now; plus c) I promised him the chairs in exchange for his letting me use an air conditioner he had for my apartment on Earle St. I was very poor at the time, and could never have bought my own, so this was a great boon. It’s also been so long ago that when I called him, he quipped “What, did you die?” So I guess it was, indeed, about time.

I ran home, straightened up the house a tiny bit, and prepared to receive visitors. I was hoping that Michael would sit down and visit for a bit. It’s been a while since I saw him and I wanted to catch up a little. Fortunately he arrived with both the time, and a very young man with him. We talked, visited, re-lived the good ole days, and basically bored the stuffing out of that guy until it was time we both got moving. They loaded the chairs, along with a few other things that needed new homes, and went on. I would so much rather give things away to friends than just dump them out at the Salvation Army. I’m a bit sentimental about my things, as I guess most people are.

By the time our visit/gab session/furniture moving was done, it was time to meet Russ and Billy for dinner. Tonight, unfortunately, the choice was Sakura. I’ve eaten there before, and was pretty much underwhelmed. For some reason all the sushi places close on Sunday, perhaps because of the strong Southern tradition of Sunday dinners being for family. That’s my theory anyway. Rarely does granny want to belly up to the sushi bar. But I digress. Again. As I say, Russ and Billy (and a couple of other people) had tried to steer me back in there, but I had been mostly silently (a shock, I know) but strenuously steering the other way. But Russ and Billy had a bee in their bonnets, and so I decided just to get this out of the way. Which Billy was a bit nonplussed about when I announced that at the table. I knew they wouldn’t be dissuaded, however advisedly. The food was actually worse than the last time I was there. I had an oyster roll that had actual chips of oyster shell in it. I just picked around them. I had a tuna roll in which the tuna had been through some nastification process to make it like a slimy spread. Yeah. As Sophia Petrillo says “When you’re as right as I am, you don’t have to say it.” I just soldiered on. By the end of the meal, they saw my point. So that’s done. I went back to the house and visited for a while, but it’s a school night, and I had to woogle off home to bed.

A post in which it is the bear dinner

2011-03-19T23:59:00.002-04:00

I was pretty laaaaazy today. I had intended to get up, re-claim that last room from the wiring, do laundry, and general act like a super-hero, but it didn’t happen. I mostly slept. I’ve been feeling pretty run down for the last week or so. I’m afraid the Epstein-Barr is acting up again.

The bear dinner was Saturday night, and I was looking forward to it. Brian was coming, and I like him. Also there was the possibility that Scott might be coming down from Asheville – and possibly I got the impression that he might be coming down to see me.

We went to The Olympian, which has been a great restaurant here for years. I used to eat there a lot more than I do now, partly because their chicken Yianni is one of the best things I have eaten in my life. It was a great temptation when I first went veg. The sauce is the best part, and only has a little chicken broth in it, but I hate going in and making a big production out of ordering something special, so I very rarely eat it any more. No one got it tonight, despite my enthusiastic endorsement. Dammit.

Scott did come to the dinner. He was nice. And he wasn’t with the guy he had been with at the dinner the week before. Turns out he and that guy are just buds. I hope. Well that’s what he said anyway. You never really know at first, ya know?

We went back to the house for drinks and hanging out after supper. It was just the four of us, so it was pretty cozy. Russ wanted to use his new deck so badly, and it is so pretty, but it was so cold we didn’t end up spending much time out there. Of course we have the whole summer long before us, and hopefully many more.

I was a very good boy, kissed Scott, and went home rather to Russ’s surprise. He just seemed to assume that I would be staying over, and of course I wanted to. But it’s so hard at first for me now. I’m a lot less confident in some ways than I used to be.

A post in which I see Terry and Stacy

2011-03-18T23:59:00.000-04:00

I had looked forward to seeing Terry and Stacy since Terry called me about it. I scampered home after work and ran over the living room and straightened up a bit. Then it was off to the restaurant to meet them.

I got there early, and since I was to meet them at 7:18:30 I went next door to Purple Haze. I went in to kill time more than anything else. I don’t think that I look like a narc or anything, but every time I go in there the staff is so rude that I don’t want to buy anything from them. Today was no exception. The funny part was that Stacy and Terry had gone in there to kill time too and we ran into each other.

We ate at Pita House. I had forgotten how good the food was – they make the best hummus I’ve ever eaten. It’s better than mine, even when I cook my own chick peas. Their falafel must be tasted to be believed - it is scrumptious. But Pita House has now been discovered. It was packed out with noisy white suburban people. It used to be only cool people that went in there, but no more. I hate the bustle of waiting in line and ordering at the counter before you could sit down almost as much as I love the food. Of course since this was a social occasion I wasn’t going to leave. I sucked it up.

After ordering, we snagged one of the last tables and Terry and I started talking. Stacy occasionally weighed in as well, but since he isn’t really a talker it’s hard to get a word in edgewise when the three of us are together. It was good to see Stacy again – it had been years. When I pulled up his Facebook profile I was quite surprised, never having seen him with short hair before, but he’s apparently growing it back out, and had it at a midi length that was quite flattering.

After supper I went over to the deli portion of the place to get some candy and some olives. They have incredible olives that you dip in bulk, and for a place that carries pitted Kalamatas (which are sinfully indulgent), they’re pretty cheap. Unfortunately, the counter they put in the deli section wasn’t manned tonight (really? on Friday night??) so I had to wait through the whole line of customers to pay for my stuff at the counter. Aggravating. They really need to organize.

We went back to the house and settled into the living room for a visit. It was a beautiful cool spring evening, and I had the windows open. Evening lighting is most flattering for the living room, and the house looked pretty good. I was most happy to have them there.

We talked and visited for a while. I had some residual bad Juju from an old buddy that used to come by, and they cleansed that out of the house for me, which I appreciated. Stacy was standing behind me with her hands on my shoulders as part of that, and all I could think about was the new fat packets I had found in my shoulders when I had the flu. His hands were right on them… It took everything I had to push that thought out of my head and concentrate on what was going on. Funny, just when you think your body has found all the possible places to store fat, it betrays you in some new way.

My only regret about the evening was that they pooped out on me about 10:30. I was ready to yak all night. But they left. I cleaned up the glasses and stuff, watched a little telly, and reflected that an early night wouldn’t do me any harm.

A post in which I try to go to choir practice

2011-03-17T22:44:00.001-04:00

I tried to go join the men's chorus today, but it just didn't seem to be meant. I rushed home after work, whipped up a quick supper, and off I went. I smelled like a big ole fried tater, but I figured that was an aphrodisiac for bears anyway. The rehearsal was on Pelham Road, where I have been working for about 15 years now, but I'd never heard of the place, so just to be careful, I had my GPS. I also called my friend D'relda, who's already been going.

There was no email today. I called to check in with D'relda on whether or not there was practice today. He informed me that a) he didn't know; and b) he has quit. One of the big attractive things about this was that I would be able to hang out with D'relda, so I was disappointed. But off I went anyway. I'm usually only truly happy when I'm singing somewhere.

The GPS took me unerringly to a vacant lot. After turning around twice and looking, I still hadn't found the place. I was frustrated. I called Russ to see what he was up to, since I was tired of looking and didn't know if there was practice tonight anyway. He was free, so I headed over there.

Of course as soon as I started over I found the place. I turned into the parking lot because there were a lot of people milling about, but they didn't look like gay choral singers to me. The weren't. I asked if there was practice going on, but the girl I asked didn't know anything about it. Thoroughly frustrated at this point, I just left.

I went to Russ and Billy's and spent the evening with them. Russ was re-stuffing cushions for the deck, so I helped do that. Then we just reclined on the fabulous new deck and visited for a bit. It was a little nipply though, and I had worn shorts because it was so pretty and I just couldn't wait any more. We watched a program about extreme cocktails with Billy, and then I went home and went to bed.

The only thing wrong with this evening was that it wasn't Friday!

A post in which I do a bit of correspondence

2011-03-16T21:50:00.003-04:00

I nailed my broccoli. It was delicious. I'm so glad I was able to re-create that. I can't always.

Emailing the Kindred really cleared my thoughts about the Granny situation. I feel like I've wimped out on Mom. Lori sent me an email about it too. I got in touch with Mom today and set up to go with her the next Wilkesboro weekend. It's the right thing to do, and I feel a bit better about that situation. Granny had kind of said her goodbye to me the last time I went up, but bless her she's just hanging on in misery. I hate this for her, and I hate what it's doing to Mom and my aunts.

After work tonight I didn’t feel quite like going straight home. The housework that needs doing reproaches me at the house right now, and I’m usually too wiped out at the end of the day to do any housework when I get home.

I went to Wal-Mart instead – yuck. I rarely do that, but I had a specific reason for going today. So I went and got that done, and then headed home for stage 2 of the plan.

I talked to Terry today for the first time since Christmas. He’s passed boards, rented a house, and makes every appearance of settling down for a bit, which would be nice for those of us who like to see him sometimes. I told him about the girl who came to the house looking for him while I was sick. He’s going to call her. He also has talked to Stacy, a friend from a long time ago, with whom I’ve lost touch. He wants us all to get together for supper on Friday night. I agreed. I called dana and explained that I wouldn’t see them Friday. I’m looking forward to seeing Stacy. It’s been a long time.

I missed four birthdays of people I care about during mid-February to early March. That was when the wiring thing was going on, but it wasn’t like I couldn’t have sent a card or something. I was actually feeling pretty guilt-ridden about it, so instead of continuing to whine (always a seductive option) I decided to do something about it. I picked up cards and a special ‘thank you’ gift for Helen. She made veggie meals for me the whole two weeks I stayed with Miss Kat and dana, and although she was grudging about doing it (“I’m not a damn vegetarian, I’m an omnivore. I can’t cook this shit.” she informed me one evening) I know she did it because she likes me. dana told me she hadn’t cooked that much in months before I came to stay. She’s a curmudgeonly old thing, but she has a heart of gold. She apparently just lives in fear that someone will find that out.

Anyway, I got home and caught up on correspondence. I even did a small load of laundry for good measure. The green room is the last one not yet cleaned post-wiring. I’m doing tiny bits at a time, but that’s better than nothing right? That’s what I’m telling myself.

A post in which I do some catching up

2011-03-15T22:15:00.001-04:00

Dick and Eve are still in New Orleans, unexpectedly. Although Dad hates The Big Easy, there was apparently some kind of saint celebration the Catholic Church was doing, and he wanted to go to that. I’m glad they’re getting away for a bit and that they’re both well enough to go right now.

That left me with a Tuesday evening free, which I feel I put to good use. I sent out a long-overdue update email to the Kindred. I’m supposed to send one once a month, but I haven’t done one since my induction ceremony. Bad, naughty, wicked Steve. It was good to get that done.

We’re also pregnant. Marty and Petal have finally started their pledge. They’ve known everyone in the group longer than I have, and indeed when I sent my petition I mentioned them because I thought they were members. I was quite surprised when I was told otherwise. At any rate, this is long overdue, and I’m glad they have finally reached out for official status. I remember the lovely welcome email that Lynn sent me when I joined, and wanted to make Marty and Petal feel just as welcome, so I sent them my own little welcome tonight.

Almost too late, I remembered that I hadn’t cooked my veggies to take for lunch the rest of the week. I concocted a lovely potato/broccoli soup flavored with shaved garlic, lemon, and pepper when I was sick. I was wondering if I could replicate the flavor combo, so I gave it a shot tonight.

It felt good to get some things done that long needed doing.

A bit of a catch-up post

2011-03-15T22:00:00.000-04:00

OK folks. I've been away for far too long.

Well here I am, finally at my computer, surrounded by broken good intentions.

The holiday parties went up through the middle of January this year. Competition for December weekends has become so fierce that some folks just gave up. That means that December (or the Holiday Season), always a gamut to run, is now a longer gamut. I love my friends, and I'm very lucky to have so many invitations; but man, does it take a toll after a while.

When things finally settled down a bit I decided to take care of something long overdue - I had my 90+year old house re-wired. dana did it for me, and did a fantastic job, but it was a bit more of an ordeal than either of us realized it would be. What we thought would take a couple of days ended up taking three weeks.

Two of those weeks I stayed with Miss Kat and dana - who were wonderfully hospitable. They treated me better than family - they treated me like family with money. The last week I spend at Russ and Billy's house, and they too were wonderfully welcoming and did their best to make me feel at home. I just wasn't. I'm very home and hearth oriented. I'm apparently the guy that breaks first if you go to prison - you know those movies.

Around the end of this, my Granny Brown was put into hospice. My Granny has been much on my mind of late. I was fortunate to be raised around wonderful, formidable women, of whom Granny Brown was one. To watch this strong, out-spoken spitfire with the light leaving her eyes is awful. She's dying by inches. My mother is going up every third week to stay the weekend with her. Sometimes she knows Mama and sometimes she doesn't. I've been up there with her, and it's actually pretty bad. Bad enough that I haven't been back since January. I feel like I'm not giving my mom the support she needs. I'm usually pretty strong about doing what needs to be done, but I have wimped out here.

Additionally, pretty much half the people I know were apparently born during February or early March. I've missed so many birthdays I'm not even sure who all to send cards to at this point.

When I got back into the house I got the flu. I haven't been that sick since I was a little child. Thank God for dana, who went to the grocery store for me. After three weeks away, there just wasn't anything here to eat. She wouldn't let me pay for the food, which I feel bad about since she risked pestilence and all. So I was sick for five days.

So I'm back in the house now, and it is wonderful. I love the fact that people I love have done so much in my house. My dad built the kitchen. Friends and loved ones have painted. Now when I come in in the evening and hit the switch (dana hot-wired some plugs for me) it feels like dana is welcoming me home. That's a good feeling. I'm getting quite sentimental in my old age.

Russ and Billy antd I went to Asheville last Saturday, which was lovely. We got to go to The Chocolate Lounge, where I got another liquid truffle, which is one of my latest reasons to keep on going. They are really, REALLY fabulous. We also had dinner out with the local bear group, which was fun, but potential husbands were not to be found.

Dating is something I look up in the dictionary these days.

So, just when I think life may slow down a bit, it fails to do so. But I guess that's the way it goes. I'm sorry if this sounds like a "poor little steve" post.

A post in which I stop and think

2011-03-14T19:35:00.000-04:00

I drug into work, sleepy this morning as usual for a Monday. I took some Ibuprofen, but they really don’t do shit for sleepy.

We found out mid-morning that the husband of one of the women who works here was killed in a car accident this morning. They have three kids, fortunately not little kids, but still. It makes you stop and think about what is really important. I can’t imagine how you recover from that. You get up, get ready, go to work, and then find out two hours later that your spouse, your life partner, the father of your children is gone. Just like that. Geez. I feel so bad for her, and I feel bad that there really isn’t a damn thing I can do to help her.

A post in which I make the kitchen safe for democracy

2011-03-13T23:14:00.001-04:00

Today I planned, first and foremost, to scrub my nasty kitchen floor. But getting motivated was a different story. I felt kinda drug out and lazy. I made some breakfast and lay down for a nap that it soon became apparent wasn’t happening. Then I realized the time had changed last night and I had lost an hour. That finally motivated me to haul my carcass off the couch.

I did get the floor scrubbed, and hooray for me. There’s still more that needs doing. The green room hasn’t yet been made safe for democracy. But I felt much better once the kitchen floor was at long last clean. It was a gorgeous spring day, and I opened the windows while I cleaned to start the house airing out.

I was just trying to decide if I had time to do more work when I had a call from Amanda. She, Jeff, and James had finished with painting chores and were getting cleaned up to head to Russ and Billy’s house. So that answered that question.

We grilled out tonight. The food was gorgeous except for the fingerling potatoes I burned. I was in charge of grilling them, but sat down to have a smoke and forgot about them. Oh well, it happens. I don’t have a lot of grilling experience either.

It was good to see everyone and spend some time together. Corbin was there, but Morgan and Andrew were not. I wore shorts for the first time this year today. It wasn’t quite warm enough for them in the evening, but I couldn’t wait any longer.

I stayed too late at Russ and Billy's, as usual.

A post in which I have supper in Asheville

2011-03-12T23:20:00.000-05:00

I had a lot to do today!

I had planned more than I actually got done.

I got up, made breakfast, cleaned up, and loaded all the recycling in the car to haul it off. It had been piled in the kitchen for the last two weeks. Chance drinks a 2-liter bottle of Dr. Pepper every day! So they had built up a bit. But I was glad they recycled while they were in the house.
After finishing that I headed to Russ’s shop for my appointment. I missed last week and I was starting to resemble Lyle Lovett, so it was past time. While Russ was cutting my hair, he informed me that I was to be at their house at 1pm (!!) to go to Asheville. That was far earlier than I expected, but as we all know by now, Russ is a force of nature.

I headed out and had the oil changed in my car. It needed the tires rotated too, so I was there for over an hour. I just had to give up on the nap I wanted today. I went home, got ready, and headed to Russ and Billy’s house. Russ wasn’t home yet (despite that it was 1:30 by the time I could get there), but he was in shortly after and we left for NC.

It was a beautiful day. It’s not quite late enough in the year for the trees to be pretty, but it is always a lovely drive up the mountain.

Russ had never been to Asheville to just hang out before. We went to The Chocolate Lounge (where I had another of those incredible liquid truffles they make), and nosed around in little shops and things. I was kind of hoping I would find some hand-thrown pottery mugs that I just couldn’t live without, but it didn’t happen. There are so many artists in Asheville, and so many pretty things, but I didn’t fall in love today.

Speaking of which.

There’s a bear group in Asheville, and we drove up to horn in on their dinner night. Russ and Billy had really built up the restaurant where the dinner was as having superlative food, and I was thinking it was just possible I might meet someone new.

Well apparently I should have been more specific. I did meet some new people, but there were maybe two guys there under 50. They were together. The food, though quite competent, was frankly nothing I would write home about either. It was fun. The guys were nice, and we had a good time. I had perhaps set my expectations a little too high.

By the time we got back down the mountain, we were all three bushed. Russ and I had a cigarette, and then I went home to bed. No time spent in the company of friends is ever wasted.

A post in which I am grateful it is Friday

2011-03-11T23:38:00.000-05:00

Work today was actually a bit quiet. It’s been such a zoo that it was kind of hard to get used to. They’re gearing the department up for the big move upstairs. Terry moved today. I’ll miss her. I’ll be sitting with another department when I move up stairs. Not particularly looking forward to that, but it will be fine.

I spent some time shopping for outlets online today. Again, brass is out, so that makes it more difficult for me. I found one that I really liked, that would go in the house, and that came in the special config I need to go beside the front door. It was $90. I found a website with fabulous art deco reproductions, but they are not cheap either. The search continues.

I went to Miss Kat and dana’s tonight! Yay! It was so good to see them in the regular way. So nice to be kind of back in the old routine. I say I hate it, but I sure do miss it when it’s gone. Of course, going to Miss Kat and dana’s house on Fridays is the fun part of the routine…

A post in which I come back from the mountains

2011-01-31T23:24:00.001-05:00

Dinner with the gang on Sunday.

A post in which I get a Man Chair

2011-01-25T21:45:00.000-05:00

The cats reclining in my Man Chair - this was where I found them when I got home.

A post in which there is much to do

2011-01-24T22:20:00.002-05:00

It's going to be a busy week. Tonight when I got home from work, I put in some wash, and then moved furniture. dana and I are going to get the chair tomorrow and I'm not going to ask her to do more than she's doing. The house is all ready to drop the chair in the living room, but I hate where my wingbacks are now. I may just have to get rid of them. They are promised to my friend Michael if he still wants them...

A post in which things get a little back to normal

2011-01-14T23:45:00.001-05:00

Today at work wasn't half so bad. I got caught up on calls and didn't feel quite so much like I'm drowning.

I checked in with dana to be sure that it was OK for me to visit tonight. I promised to eat a big supper, and I did. I indulged my love of Long John Silver's. I had three fish tacos tonight, and fries. The root beer was flat again, but the people that work there are so nice that I just can't complain.

It was lovely to see Miss Kat and dana, as always. We had a great visit, and I was conscious the whole time.

A post in which it is back to work

2011-01-13T21:45:00.002-05:00

I went in today. The roads weren't too terribly bad.

I got into find that my boss had been in during all the snow days. The man is a Nazi.

I put in a full day, and finally finished month end. Only by the middle of the month.

Eve called to invite me to dinner out with her and Dad tonight. Ordinarily I wouldn't have dreamed of going anywhere but straight home, but it had been a pretty exhausting day, and I haven't seen them much through the holidays. What the hell. I went, and was glad I did. We had dinner at the new location of Portofino's. It was as good as ever, and they were slammed out the doors. Apparently the move was good for them.

After supper I went on home. The roads might get worse as it got later, plus I was wiped out.

A post in which I scare dana

2011-01-12T22:28:00.003-05:00

Cabin fever set in today. I have watched about as much daytime TV I can stand. But the sun was out, and I had high hopes for thawing. There was a Living Single marathon on, and I somewhat reluctantly tuned in to watch.

There wasn't a lot of food in the house. I've been living mostly on broccoli soup. I was thrilled to hear that dana was out and about, and headed my way. I wanted company, and I can think of few people I would enjoy seeing as much.

She showed up and started shoveling my driveway! I suspect that she needed to get out as well - being snowed in with Miss Helen wouldn't exactly be a vacation for her. Plus dana needs to be doing stuff. She doesn't sit still that often. She was soon distracted though, as some dogs down the street started fighting. They were tied to a tree together so neither of them could get away. She waited for a few minutes, but the owner didn't come out of the house to do anything about it. dana has a soft spot for animals, and she was HOT! She went down the block, broke up the dogs, and told the owner off. She was still agitated when she came in my house for a visit.

We sat back to spend a little time together. Unfortunately, I've been having problems with Epstein-Barr, and hadn't been eating properly. With the other stuff going on, I basically passed out on the sofa. I was only out for a minute or two, but dana was terrified. I came to with her slapping my face and calling my name. It was rather surreal.

She went out and got me a late lunch, a good ole fish sandwich with plenty o fat and protein. I ate it, and she sat with me for a bit until I could reassure her that I was OK.

After she left, I took a long nap, and woke up and talked to Miss Kat. She was worried about me too. After reassuring her also, I ate some soup and went on to bed.

A post in which it was another snow day

2011-01-11T22:35:00.004-05:00

Well I was caught up on laundry today. I checked the weather, and it's not suppose to warm up a bit for a couple of days. It was freezing today.

I did have some fingerling potatoes that I picked up from Trader Joe's over the weekend so I made those. They were delicious, but man did they make a mess! I had to really scrub the roasting pan to get it clean - and it was enamel coated.

As it got later in the day, I checked the weather again - no change. I got out to walk my block to see if I could get out of the neighborhood. It was all I could do to walk to the corner, much less drive. It's not looking good for work tomorrow.

A post in which there is much snow

2011-01-10T21:45:00.000-05:00

When I woke up this morning there was a LOT of snow on the ground. I couldn't stay in the house though, as is my usual policy during snow or ice. I left the car window down a bit last night. It was still snowing - light blowy snow that really didn't fall straight down. I had to go out and close the window. I figured snow was getting in, and I was right. I trudged through the ankle-deep white stuff and closed it.

On the one hand I had a vacation day scheduled so I didn't have to worry about calling in, but on the other hand it seemed like a big waste of a vacation day. I had also scheduled for dana to come help me pick up the recliner that Dad gave me. Obviously that wasn't going to happen.

I had broccoli in the freezer that I bought to make soup, so I put that in the crock pot to get working. I also had a bunch of laundry that had built up again, so I did wash.

It was a quiet day of daytime television. After all that has happened, it was kind of nice to spend some quiet time at the house. Everyone called to check on me, which was also sweet. Russ asked me to come over. That Russ. Of course it would have been great to get snowed in at their house, but since I was already snowed in at my house that kind of ruined that plan.

A post in which it is time for the last of the parties

2011-01-09T23:33:00.001-05:00

I got up this morning to a text from Russ about going to the flea market. Of course I wanted to go. I got to the house in time to see the last of the revelers who had stayed over last night trickled out. After some coffee, a nosh on some party left-overs, and a re-cap of what happened last night after I left, we hit the road.

Marshall, John, and Aaron had come for the party and the weekend. We did the flea market and then went to breakfast at IHOP. I'm not supposed to eat there right now because the animal-rights people are on the outs with them. IHOP is the only major breakfast chain to refuse to use any percentage of humanely grown eggs - none at all. But I wasn't going to challenge the group agreement, so I went.

The new Trader Joe's opened a month or so ago, and John, as a cook, was keen to visit, so that was next on the list. They do have amazingly beautiful produce at very good prices. I hadn't been able to get in there for a good rummage becuause of all the people that always seem to be wandering around. I guess they buy stuff, but they usually just look like zombies. Some of the frozen things looked interesting, but since I wasn't going straight home I didn't get any of that. I did pick up some beautiful huge red pears for lunch next week and some fingerling potatoes.

When we got back to the house I was pretty wiped, but there was still the party tonight. I left them all vegged on the sofa, packed up a cooler of left-over Jello shooters from last night, and headed out. It was pretty cold. When I got to the house I just left them in the car.

I tried to lie down for a bit, but it wasn't like I could sleep in a hurry. After a bit, I gave up, got up, and cleaned up. The party had started about 3pm and it was about 5. I got there about 6. I was dragging. I really wished I hadn't RSVP'd. Of course etiquette forbids cancelling an accepted invitation except in the case of a sudden death or illness. I soldiered on. I knew I would have a good time once I got there.

Tonight was Danl'l and Jim's party. They have a drop-in every year, and it's always nice. They have moved it to January now because of the crush of parties, and it's a nice way to see folks I know and wind down the season. It was laid back and nice. Taking in the Jello shooters helped make up for being late. I missed Donnie, Kimbley, and Laura, but Karen and Billy were there. It was good to see them, as always. Although it got colder, I had dressed in layers. I ended up camped out on the porch with Nicole, Karen, and a cute guy named John. He gave me his number too. It was a very nice time, and Iwas glad I went. It wasn't a late night. First, it was Sunday night, and secondly there are rumors of snow moving in. I'm skeptical, but then I usually kind of pooh-pooh the snow madness that seems to infect anyone here at the least possibility. Still, it was a really nice evening, and I had a good time. I was glad I went.

I took the day off tomorrow anyway.

A post in which it is the bear holiday party*

2011-01-08T23:59:00.003-05:00

Well it was the bear party tonight, but first I had cooking to do. I had promised Drew that I would make a savory mushroom baklava. It's my own recipe, and it's his favorite. The theme for the party this year was retro hors d'oeuvres, but since I had already promised Drew I pretty much disregarded. Even though I really don't like making the baklava. It's very labor intensive. But I got up and went to buy mushrooms anyway.

I fell into the manhunt vortex for a while though, and a buddy came by for a while. It had been a while since I had seen him.

After that I straightened up the house a bit, made the baklava, and had a bit of a lie down.

Eventually though, I popped the baklava in the oven and jumped in the shower. Russ and Billy were looking for me, and I didn't want to be late. Billy had been stuck for an idea of what to do, and so I made a suggestion. It was something I'd had at a wedding years ago: lunch ham spread with cream cheese, rolled around sweet pickel spears and sliced. Simple, but all these years late I can still remember how good they were. Billy made them! He also sent me a picture of them:

Billy's Party Dish

I got to the party and greeted everyone. Everyone was there to have a good time, and got along pretty well. There was a bit of drama with roaming husbands, but all the couples went home with the right one. I got many compliments on the baklava, which did turn out golden and beautiful, but which I thought was too greasy.

It was good to see everyone, but I think I'm just partied out. I just wasn't feeling it. I stuck to the more quiet areas of the party. I had a good time, but I didn't stay late late. Still it's always nice when the bears get together. I left as things started to get out of hand and let the hard-core folks take over.

A post in which I apologize

2011-01-07T22:58:00.002-05:00

I haven't skipped any days since I started this blog. I'm going to now. The last two days were a nightmare, and today wasn't much better. I"m sparing you a two-day whine-fest. Trust me.

I'll summarize:

- Canada got pissy because they scheduled a meeting to discuss their presentation for before I would have the information to complete it, and then were unhappy that I couldn't get it to them before the meeting.

- Little Boots chimed in and added yet another slide to the ones I now produce Every. Fucking. Week. As he stepped out of his office to dictate his instructions, I just turned around in my chair, elbow deep in papers. "Alan, PLEASE!" I said. He told me I didn't have to do it this week. What a prince.

- I spent two hours this afternoon trying to chase down numbers for Canada, trying to finish their stuff early, battling uphill against all corporate culture. Canadians apparently just do not hurry. Like ever, eh? I couldn't get anyone in that office to answer the phone. They got my voice mails, then emailed me that their stuff wasn't due yet, or that they would call me later. Eventually, I found out that the manager who had to approve the final data I needed was playing golf.

- I have not called any customers this week. It has been a wall-to-wall report slam from moment one. I haven't returned any of the phone messages that came in while I was out. I haven't been able to finish month end for the US either.

- To top it all off, the freakin' Epstein-Barr is definitely back. Not as bad as last year, but back, and dragging me down. Sigh.

I left the office in disgust and dismay.

The light at the end of the tunnel was that I got to go to Miss Kat and dana's tonight. I dragged my mutilated corpse in from the wars, so happy to be there I didn't know whether to cry or pee myself. Helen told me to cry, since they didn't want to clean up the pee.

Time at their house felt as if it saved my life, and may have actually saved my psyche. I perked up like a parched flower that's finally been watered. Thank God for my friends, who are so much better to me than I could ever deserve.

A post in which I begin paying for my vacation

2011-01-04T21:45:00.001-05:00

I had been dreading today. As it turns out that dread was fully justified.

I walked back in to the hundreds of emails at accumulate after the longest vacation I have taken since 2007, month end due, and weekly reports to be put together.

It's kind of like being annoyed to death, only more stressful.

A post in which it is the last day of vacation :(

2011-01-03T21:49:00.000-05:00

It's the last day. I actually felt better today than yesterday attitude-wise, go figure.

I got to work early and industriously and productively, doing chores to make the next four days easier. I changed sheets and stuff like that. I got the tree down, and got it and all the ornaments up in the attic! As much as I have enjoyed it, and I have, I am never sorry to see the last of it. To celebrate, I treated myself to an indulgent fast-food lunch. I almost never do that. I was just kind of where I had almost everything done that needed doing when the phone rang.

It was dana, inviting me over to visit. There was no way I was gonna say no to that. I got cleaned up and headed over to see what was up.

As it turned out, nothing. We talked about doing stuff, but no one really felt like it. We ended up just hanging out, vegging in front of the tube, and enjoying each other. I charged my happiness battery for the days ahead. I have a feeling I'm going to need it. It was actually the perfect way to spend the last of my vacation. If I'd stayed at home, I would have felt like I should keep doing stuff.

A post in which it is time for a trip to Spartanburg

2011-01-02T23:59:00.003-05:00

I woke up today bummed. Small of me with a whole nother day off tomorrow, but true. I am really bummed about going back to work. I know it's going to be chaos, and I dread it. Telling myself that at least it's a short week ain't a-workin'.

I did manage to start working on taking the tree down. We had just thrown all the storage stuff in
the attic when we were done putting it up, and I was afraid it was going tobe bad packing them back up, but it turned out not to be nearly as bad as I had feared, and I got all the ornaments off today. That's most of the work.

To reward myself, I stopped, rested for a bit, and cheered myself up looking forward to going to Jeff and James's house tonight. We have the suppers regularly, but I always have to have one eye on the clock. It used to be just me that worked on Mondays, but now that Jeff and James apparently work all the time, they have to get up too. I just don't think they have to be up as early.

At any rate, I was looking forward to staying out as long as I wanted to tonight. The only fly in the ointment was that Russ and Billy couldn't go.

I did get to see their new furniture. They've had it since before Christmas, but what with one thing and another we haven't been to the house since. The new sofa is gorgeous. Buttery burgundy leather, comfortable seating for four, and it's stitched in white like a Coach bag. Gorgeous. It actually looks as if it could stand up to the dogs. For a while anyway.

We went out for sushi. They have found a good sushi place that is open on Sunday. In Spartanburg. Amazing. And scarce as hen's teeth. After a lovely meal we went back to their place and vegged in front of the tube, Amanda curled up adorably beside me. When you're that little, everything you do is cute.

I stayed until very late.

A post in which it is a new year

2011-01-01T23:59:00.001-05:00

Well, it's a new year.

Actually it got off to a good start. Russ and I got up and went to the flea market. I hit on another find for Amanda (storin up those gifts), and thought I had gotten a deal for myself. I was flying blind (with no field guide) since I packed my clothes for today in my backpack. I ended up buying some well-done reproduction candlesticks. They're pretty anyway. I may sit them out for a while and look at them before I get rid of them.

When we got back, I went home to lay around for a while. But I got ready and headed to Russ and Billy's to go back out. Nothin' wussy 'bout me. There was more partyin' to do!

This evening was Rich's card party. He used to have it on Christmas day, but it's changed since he started spending more time with his family. I missed it last year and was very disappointed. His party is always relaxing and fun. There is usually a very low booger-eater quotient there. Dressing up is forbidden, and alcohol is encouraged. There was an additional inducement this year because we would get to meet Rich's non-boyfriend. Rich says they aren't involved, even though they see each other regularly and share food. Among other things. His business, but I was curious.

The guy turned out to be nice, and we had a very enjoyable evening. Alan, a guy I know who has done an odd job or two for me, was there. He's such a sweet man. There are several things around the house that need doing, but he's all tied up re-decorating Rich's house right now. I was impressed that he had the party, even in the midst of re-doing. So many queens would have been bitchy and talked about it, but Rich usually keeps those kind to a minimum. We had gorgeous homemade soup. He always makes one with no meat in it for me (what a sweetheart) and this year he made two! A really delicious black bean and rice, and a gorgeous tomato-mushroom bisque.

The party dwindled until there were just enough of us for one card table (there are usually more people there) and we had a great time talking, eating, and playing cards, until we finally just dropped all the cards pretense and chatted. It was a lovely, lovely way to start the new year.

A post in which I wish everyone a Happy New Year

2010-12-31T23:59:00.002-05:00

Russ and Billy were hosting a small New Year's Eve get-together for some of the Kindred tonight. That kind of thing is just my speed. I usually go to Kimbley and Laura's house for NYE, but last year I didn't feel up to it, and then this year, I decided to go to Russ and Billy's. I'm actually kind of conflicted about it, because my life seems to have shrunk so much to just Kindred in the last year. If it wasn't for Russ, Billy, Miss Kat, and dana, I would be pretty alone in the world. But in the end, that's what I felt like doing, so that's what I did.

It wasn't an all-out kind of thing, which was fine with me. We're all getting too old for heavy partying anyway, apparently (with the exception of Russ, of course). Miss Kat, dana, and Lori were having a hard time making it to midnight! It was nice to spend some time around Lori and JP though. JP has always been nice to me, but he seemed exceptionally gracious tonight. They don't have a lot of private time because there are so many people at the house, but he invited me over anyway. I thought that was very nice of him.

We all made it until the ball dropped, had a toast of Asti Spumanti, and most of the people headed out shortly after. I stayed over because the cops were supposed to be so bad tonight, but by about 1am I was done in. I went on to bed, much to Russ's disappointment.

A post in which Justin and I go shopping

2010-12-30T23:59:00.000-05:00

Justin showed up right on time this morning, and after delaying him for about a half hour I was ready to go.

We set off to Easley in high spirits. These spirits were buoyed by the fact that we scored on our very first stop. We found a Lincoln Inn cup in pink for $1.00! Although Justin made the discovery, he let me have it. I had just said that morning that I had never owned a piece of Lincoln Inn, and would like to have a piece. It was just a loose cup, but it is pretty.

Lincoln Inn cup in pink by Fenton Glass Company, circa late 1920's

We went on to the big fancy antique mall in downtown Easley. They had been hit by a tornado this year, I found to my horror, but they were open. We went in and felt greatly relieved after finding that a rare set up extra-bubble forest green plates made it through without being broken. They're out of our price range, but it was really good to see them. We walked around a little in downtown Easley.

Next we went around the corner to Uncle Sam's antique store, a favorite for both of us. I picked up a couple of small things and marked a couple more to think about. On the way out of town we stopped off at the Jesus Saves Thrift Store, only to find that it's former junky splendor had been replaced with a very spartan interior. They must have thrown out most of the inventory. To be fair, most of it was junk, but it was still quite a surprise.

We rode out to a place in Pickens that I like, but all I found today was a shot glass. We also went out to the thrift store that Justin had been so impressed with last year, but ended up not buying much today. We stopped for lunch at a great little Italian place called Mama Mia's. The food was really good.

On our way back to town, we stopped at a place I've only been once before. The people that run it are very nice, but it's a bit off the beaten path. It was worth the ride today though, I found a little piece for Amanda so that on the next occasion I won't be out desperately seeking egg cups.

After that we went back to Uncle Sam's. I bought two pieces I really wanted. One was an amber milk pitcher in a pattern called Madrid. I usually don't like that pattern or color, but it fed in to my obsessive (of late) desire for milk pitchers. It's a really nice piece, and I got it for about half price. I also bought a Depression Green water glass that for some reason just called to me. I paid too much for it, but I just had to have it.

5 1/2" Madrid pitcher in amber by Federal Glass Company, circa 1932 - 1939

We thought about going over to do some of the 85 stores, but by that point we were both pretty beat, so we headed on back to my place.

Justin made his leave, and I got in touch with Russ and Billy. They were going out to supper tonight, and Russ invited me. It turned out that he had invited tow new guys to go with us, Josh and Alfredo. They were both nice, and I really liked them. We went to Lieu's for supper and I really enjoyed spending time with everyone, even if I did spend way too much. That's what vacation is for though, right?

After supper I went back to Russ and Billy's house to hang out for a bit. I helped Russ put move some things around in preparation for tomorrow. Part of what we tried to do was put together some lighted reindeer Joann had bought him for Christmas. Russ was trying to turn the motor over (it moved the head) since we'd gotten it in upside down. He unplugged the deer, and we both watched in horror as the head continued to bob up and down. In a few seconds we both figured out that there was a separate plug for the motor, but initially we were both quite shocked and horrified. It was really pretty funny. Later.

A post in which I go to the movies*

2010-12-29T23:48:00.000-05:00

When I got up this morning I decided it was time for some companionship. I fell into the Manhunt vortex, and ended up going to see a guy that I went to see last year on New Year's Day. He's nice, and we had a really good time.

When I left though, I was ravenous. I had been over there without taking the time to eat this morning. After ruling out several possibilities I just went home, made a sandwich, and heated up a bowl of soup. Then I checked the internet and called Miss Kat. Neither Miss Kat nor I had seen the latest Harry Potter (the first part of Deadly Hallows). We had decided to go to a matinee, but hadn't made any concrete plans. Unfortunately the movie wasn't playing a matinee any longer, but we made plans to go to the show tonight.

They came over early and dana stayed at the house while Miss Kat and I went to the movie. Helen was apparently on the warpath today, and dana needed sanctuary. When they came in, Miss Kat wasn't feeling well. She had the sniffles and pretty bad congestion going on. Uh-oh. My immune system just doesn't need anything else to fight off. But since I'd spent so much time with them lately, if I was going to get someone I already had it.

I tried to be all ready and make sure I had a lighter and all since I was going out with Miss Kat. Despite my best efforts I dropped a cigarette on the way and thought it went down in the car. Miss Kat had to pull over so we could look for it, but I never found it. Embarrassing.

When we got to the theater, we decided to get a 'popcorn and two drinks' deal. When we got them, they were enormous! Miss Kat took her drink and walked off. She's gotten used to that kind of thing taking care of itself, which of course it did. I brought the popcorn in, and later teased her a bit about being able to tell that dana had been taking really good care of her. It was funny and sweet at the same time. We both enjoyed the movie, although it was much more grim than the former ones. Since they are setting up the final confrontation, though, I suppose this is appropriate.

We headed home after the movie, and it was so nice to come home to find the house lit up and dana there. It's so nice to come home to someone that you love. dana had been studying and spoiling the cats, and of course they were thrilled. We visited and watched a little telly before they went home. It was a really nice day.

A post in which I see Justin

2010-12-28T23:59:00.001-05:00

I finished the laundry today. And thank goodness for that. I also made a pot of sweet potato soup which turned out surprisingly good. I may make that again. Sweet potatoes and curry really stain though.

I was just thinking about taking a nap when Justin called. He said he could come over and do the glass cabinets today, and that was great. They needed to be done, and I have the time. I had been kind of watching a Hoarders marathon with one eye, and when Justin came in he was immediately fascinated. He is more into it even than I am.

After watching a couple of episodes we debated going shopping vs. re-arranging what I already had, but by that time it was about 4pm, and too late to do anything. We got out the glass and started re-arranging. We were done pretty early, and I asked him about tagging along with him to supper, but he and Chad had planned couple time tonight. I also asked him to go to the Pickens flea market with me tomorrow, but it was Chad's day off and they were going to Georgia. We made plans to shop the 95 corridor on Thursday though. We always have a great time when we do that. He called me shortly after he left, to ask me to lunch on Friday with him and Chad.

I called Russ and Billy, and we ended up going to supper at Pho Noodleville. We caught up on Christmas (this was Billy's first Christmas with Russ's family) and then it was back to their house for a visit and to watch some telly. Lovely.

A post in which I get some stuff done

2010-12-27T23:20:00.000-05:00

Today I pretty much just laid around the house. I had tons of laundry to do. I was so tired and caught up in Christmas stuff that I just kept thinking well, I'll catch up on vacation. I made some progress, but didn't get it all done, and that was fine. I have a bunch of stuff planned, but then I have open days too. I'm trying not to aggravate my Epstein-Barr. I can feel it rumbling around because I've been over-doing lately.

I napped and hung out, chatted online, and was generally worthless. And that was fine with me.

A post in which it is a lovely Boxing Day

2010-12-26T22:38:00.001-05:00

It was nice to wake up with Terry in the house today. Unfortunately I was starving. The house is so small that it's really hard to move around without waking anyone up. I got bold and went into the kitchen to warm up some Hamburger Helper. Of course I woke Terry up.

We had a leisurely coffee and sat and watched TV, smoking and talking. We eventually decided to go out for lunch. We both got cleaned up and I took him to Saffron to eat. It was delicious, as always.

After lunch I dropped Terry at work, and called dana. She and Miss Kat said they would come over. I wanted them to see the tree, so I was happy about that, although I am happy for them to come over any time.

I set about straightening up a bit, and Dad called. He bought a new recliner today, and offered me his old one, a very nice Lay-Z-Boy that's only about 8 months old. Cool.

Miss Kat and dana came over and we spent the afternoon visiting. It was so nice to see and spend some time with them. Eventually, we all got hungry and visited the Red Lobster for supper. I ate like a pig-hog! I was so hungry, and I'm feeling all sassy 'cause I'm on vacation. After supper we came back to my house for more conversation. I put Ponyo in. dana was very patient, but that is just not her kind of thing. Eventually they went on home, and I toddled on to bed.

A post in which I wish everyone a Merry Christmas

2010-12-25T23:59:00.003-05:00

I was up early, and mostly on time to Dad and Eve's. They wanted me there at 9am, but they weren't ready. I packed up the car while they finished, and drove down. We got to Lisa's around 11. Ava had already gotten up and opened everyone's gifts (and Lisa had re-wrapped them) by the time we got there. That was fine, because we had another huge load of gifts in the car.

We opened presents and visited. Lisa liked her shirts that I gave her, and Carl seemed to as well. There was a bit of a kerfuffle when Reagan, Carl's daughter called for him to come to get her. She's 18 and won't drive on the freeway. He was getting ill about going to get her, so Dad volunteered to go. He took Cole with him, in hopes of getting him to drive a bit (reportedly he's barely driven the car since Dad gave it to him), but he didn't. They ended up being gone for several hours.

In the meantime I played with Ava. Despite her receiving many expensive presents, we ended up playing with some little finger puppets that came out of her stocking. The other greatly favored gift was a $1 set of glittery colored lip gloss. There were seven colors. She spent about two hours painting her lips, and then mine, with great order and seriousness. She was happy and quiet and on my lap which was all I cared about.

Eventually Dad and Cole came back with Reagan in tow. We ate supper. I was really hungry. Lisa made ambrosia salad for dessert. I enjoy it, but not enough to make it. It's a pain in the tuckus to make. But before we ate dessert Dad was getting antsy to go. It was snowing in Greenville, amazingly - the first white Christmas here since the 60s. Although he let me drive down, he decided he needed to be behind the wheel on the way back since we were going into inclement weather. It rained most of the way back, but when we reached Fountain Inn we started to see snow. It wasn't freezing, and there was no build-up on the roads, but the rest of the trip back was very pretty. When we got back to their place Dad was ready for me to get home if I was going. There was about three inches of snow on my car that I had to clear.

On my way back through town my phone rang. It was Terry. Of course I told him he could come stay. I was really worn out after the long day, but I thought it would be good to see him. I straightened up the house a bit and put a pot of Hamburger Helper since there was almost nothing in the house to eat. He's usually hungry when he gets off work.

I headed out to pick him up after his shift (praying that the roads were still OK - had anything happened, I would never have heard the end of it from Dad), only to run into difficulty. Some people for the next shift hadn't shown up, and no one was willing to pick up an extra shift on Christmas day in the snow. By law though, no one was allowed to leave until they had enough people there to cover the shift. After waiting and debating for half hour, one of the missing showed up and we were allowed to go.

Terry and I had drinks, ate some Helper, and caught up on what was going on with each other. It was a very nice end to Christmas. I miss having someone to do for, and it was good to see Terry, and to go to sleep with someone I love in the house.

Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night.

A post in which I get a Christmas present*

2010-12-24T23:05:00.002-05:00

Today was unexpected, and I'm going to brag just a bit. I had a guy get in contact today that I had slept with ten years ago. He was really cute, but unfortunately I didn't remember him. He ended up coming over, and we spent several most enjoyable hours together.

But I was running behind. There were a million things I needed to do today.

I spent an hour and a half wrapping presents. I LOVE to buy and give Christmas gifts, but I LOATHE to wrap them. I spent 20 minutes wrapping the one and only gift I will ever wrap in Mylar paper. It was some Michael had left here (I'm still using wrapping paper he left, four years ago). When I finished, I put the paper in the car to give away. It made an ugly present, but I had spent too much time working on it to change the paper.

The last gift I wrapped was the BIG (two half-pound cups) Reese's Cups for Miss Kat and dana. I also got their gift ordered.

I was feeling pretty hectic and not very Christmas-y from rushing. I really wanted to be at their place this afternoon, but I had to get the gifts wrapped for in the morning. In the car on the way over I was trying to relax. I looked over at a stoplight, only to see a little ole redneck woman sporting a Santa hat. It did my heart good to see her. She noticed me looking at her, and I could tell it made her uncomfortable. I gave her a big smile and pointed to my head, at which point she gave me a radiant smile and lifted up the tip of the hat. Her little ball on the tip was lit up. I was instantly full of holiday cheer. It was the precious-est thing.

I finally made it to Miss Kat and dana's house, and I was SO glad to be there. We did presents. They gave me a gift card to World Market, and a big ole candy bar.

I hadn't watched Muppet Christmas Carol yet this year, and had brought it with me in case they were interested. It's my favorite Christmas movie. To my surprise, dana said she was interested in watching, but there were DVD player problems. Miss Kat ended up bringing in a player from the bedroom and going to quite a bit of trouble to get it to play, but in the end, she did it. Watching it with them was perfect. What a great evening, and a great Christmas with them!

Charlie came by to bring over a tres leches cake. It was gorgeously delicious.

A post in which it is the last day before vacation

2010-12-23T23:20:00.001-05:00

Apparently I was a bit of an optimist about Alan being out of work. He was harassing me by email today, and then he fed me to the auditors. I did get my write-offs back from CA though, and was able to get them through, even if Canada did ask me to explain their own write-off process to them. Alan backed off later in the day, for which I was grateful.

I was out of lunches to pack so I treated myself to lunch at the Saffron lunch buffet today. Their food is so wonderful.

I worked on PODs on a big account until it was time to go. The hold screens were dead, and everyone went home a bit early, which was nice.

I had no plans for tonight. I'd seen Russ and Billy already this week, and I was going to see Miss Kat and dana tomorrow. I was tickled to get a call from Justin. He came over and gave me a really great glass porn book - Treasures of Very Rare Depression Glass by Gene Florence. He seemed very pleased with the Carnival Glass vase I got him. He didn't even seem to mind my giving it to him in the store bag (I hadn't had time to wrap it before he got to the house). After looking everywhere for one last year, I walked in to the friendly man's antique store to find it sitting there on sale. I couldn't resist.

We went for Mexican food for dinner and had a bit of a visit before he had to go meet Chad for supper. I showed him the Baby It's Cold Outside number from the Christmas glee, which is absolutely the most precious thing ever. I think he likes it as well as I do, almost.

A post in which there is one more day to go

2010-12-22T23:02:00.002-05:00

I got the info requests under control and got them out to CA today, then started on write-offs. I got those turned in because Alan would be out tomorrow.

I had an invitation from Russ for supper tonight, and was very much looking forward to it. I met them at the house and we went out for sushi. When we got back to the house, I had two more gifts from them! They got me a Christmas ornament of Bugs Bunny in drag. I really love it. I bought one for Donnie last year, and afterwards wished I had gotten one for me as well. Russ got me a copy of the new Annie Lennox Christmas album. When I expressed my appreciation, Russ said "Well go ahead and open it - I want to burn a copy!" It was such a Russ moment, and I had to laugh about it. He burned me a copy of the glee Christmas album in return. I really enjoyed seeing them. Russ and I both lamented that we had to work tomorrow, but it had to be done. At least Alan won't be in the office tomorrow.

A post in which the bottom falls out

2010-12-21T21:38:00.000-05:00

It was an absolutely crappy day at work. Apparently legal decided to clean off their desk before they left for the holidays. I came in this morning to a DOJ request for documents that expired yesterday. When I got back from lunch there was another from the Dept of Homeland Security. I was fit to be tied. I had planned on a quiet week doing write-offs, but that wasn't going to happen apparently.

When I got off work I went by CVS, which of course did not improve my mood.

I had left my phone at home today, and when I got in, I had a missed call from Eve. I called her back and she invited me to supper. I didn't have anything planned, and I really needed to see people after today, so I went.

We met at a little Italian place where I hadn't eaten in years. The food is still good. Eve looked the best I had seen her look in months. She had a good report from the doctor today, and he had taken out one of her drains. It did my heart good to see her looking and behaving like herself. We had a very pretty waiter whom Dad didn't seem to think much of. He was trying. I picked up the check for Dad's birthday since I hadn't gotten him a birthday present.

I was wiped, and begged off going to their place to visit. I went home and went to bed.

A post in which I go back to work

2010-12-20T21:11:00.000-05:00

I was dead today. The rest of the office hadn't yet settled in to 'holiday mode' yet, and the reports had to be done. So I did them.

After work I was pretty wiped out. I had to go to the store because I hadn't done it yesterday, but after that I went home and went to bed.

A post in which it is a busy Sunday

2010-12-19T23:59:00.002-05:00

Since a lot of people were still in town from the party, we made plans to go to breakfast the next day. MC and sa were there, as were Marty and Petal. We all left from Russ and Billy's house and went on to Stax Omega for breakfast. I had a very interesting sandwich on flat bread. It was good.

We left there and went to the shop. Russ was going to cut hair for MC. I rinsed her out again. I was a bit more nervous this time because I now know that she is tender-headed. I was as a child. But I was very careful and didn't hurt her head. She kept doing stuff to make me laugh. I just love her, and sa has been so sweet to me.

Although I didn't feel 'transformed' last night, it seemed as if everyone was nicer to me today. Not that they haven't been all along, it was just different. I don't have words to really explain it.

Russ got Marty in the chair, and kept him for over two hours! Apparently he had been waiting for this for a long time. He gave him the whole treatment, with hot towels, massage, etc. That was all well and good, but many of us had ridden with Russ and we had to wait for it all to get done. I didn't mind, I was really enjoying hanging out with everyone, but the day was melting away.

We didn't get out of the shop until about 3pm. I had to go home, wrap gifts for tonight (Russ had decided we would do gifts with the Sunday supper group this evening, and get ready to go to Dad's. I didn't even have a card for Dad's birthday. It was all I could do to get home, wrap and pack the gifts, and get cleaned up to meet Dad for supper.

I met them at Lieu's, pretty wiped out. Ava was in a precious little dress, and Cole had brought his best buddy with him. This was the first time I had met the guy. He was nice. After supper we went back to Dad and Eve's house. Dad gave Cole his car, but Cole hadn't brought his learner's permit with him so he couldn't drive the car. Dad was so disappointed, I could tell. Lisa had sent Dad a card, brought another one with her, and had gotten him a nice gift. Sigh. There I was, empty-handed.

We visited with them. I had thought I would have plenty of time to get to Russ's after supper, but they ended up not leaving until 10pm! I went on to Russ's, and everyone was there. We did the gifts. Jeff and James seemed to like their bottles, although initially they didn't know what the bottle tree was when they opened it.

Russ and Billy gave me some computer stuff to go with the new laptop, which was nice.

It was good to see everyone and spend some time with them, but I didn't leave until about 1am. I am gonna be dead tomorrow.

A post in which it is the BIG day

2010-12-18T23:59:00.004-05:00

Today was the day I've been waiting and preparing for all year. I had planned to take it easy - I sure didn't want to be pooped out tonight. But of course I had stuff to do. First, I had to buy gifts of desperation.

I went by Wilson's today to try to find Russ's ornament display. I've looked everywhere, and this was the last resort. They didn't have it either. So I'm going to have to get him a gift card. I really hate that, but I have done my very best to try to find this thing and haven't even found a picture of one online. I also went to Greer to buy Amanda's Christmas present. She loves Jadite, but it's pretty scarce these days - it's a hot collectible. Plus I'm buying at what surely has to be the top of the market. But every time I think that Jadite has hit the peak, it goes up again. Unbelievable. I wasn't really happy with the piece I found and went to buy today. I've been going to the flea market and stuff in hopes of finding something better, but it just didn't happen. On Justin's advice, I went back today and bought her an egg cup. I don't really like it, and it's too small to look like much of a gift, but it was what I could find.

When I got home I laid up for a bit and took a little nap. When I got up, I had a pie to make. Lady Beth had asked us to bring sides tonight, and I asked about making a macaroni pie. After I sent the email out, I remembered that Miss Kat and Russ don't really like macaroni pie, but they have both told me they will make an exception for mine. It is a really excellent recipe (it's not mine, so I'm not blowing my own horn yet). I put the pie together and stuck it in the oven, and then got ready.

I drove to Lady Beth's myself. I called Russ and Billy to see if I was supposed to ride with them (Russ doesn't always tell me); but they had MC and sa at the house and had a car full already, plus I had a bunch of stuff to take with me, including a hot pie. I wasn't nervous on the way up, which surprised me. I've been so looking forward to this, and was expecting to be very emotional. I did mist up a bit while I was washing dishes after making the pie, but in general I did a good job today of just not thinking about tonight.

When I got to the house, everyone was there except for Russ, Billy, MC, and sa. Everyone greeted me enthusiastically and affectionately. My pie had turned out a little runny (I had under-cooked it with the idea of finishing it there) so I popped it in the oven. I got out the cookbooks, and then just visited with people. It was pretty much like a Christmas party, which of course it was.

When everyone got there and got settled in, Lady Beth called us to order and we did my induction ceremony. We started off by joining in a circle while Marty and Petal did drumming to bring us together and bring the power. Although Marty and Petal aren't formal members of the Kindred, I really love them, and it felt absolutely right that they were a part of my ceremony. The ceremonies are individual for each person. Mine was focused on herbs. Lady Beth did a reading about the nature of herbs and their powers of protection, nutrition, and magic. Everyone brought an herb to add to a jar, an herb for me, and they added them one at a time, explaining why they chose the herb that they did. I was very happy, but I didn't cry and stuff, which surprised me. Then Lady Beth got out my Kindred necklace and put it around my neck. That was powerful. And then I was in. Afterwards, everyone came up to hug me and welcome me as I knelt there. It was perfect, and completely unplanned. Miss Kat was the last. She just walked up to me with a little smile that kind of said Like we both don't know I own your ass already? Silly boy. in a sweet, loving, teasing kind of way. And of course we both knew that already.

It was a lovely ceremony, and a lot of work and thought went into it, but I didn't feel transformed, which puzzled me. I was expecting to feel that a huge change had taken place, but I didn't. I felt more as if I had slipped a last puzzle piece in to place, as if things were right and proper, and as they ought to be. It was much more powerful than that, but that is the best (inadequate) words can describe the main feeling. I think I had my transition this Spring. When we showed up at the dungeon in Atlanta as a group, and I was flagging purple for Miss Kat, that was when the shift happened. That was unexpectedly powerful for me. Later at SELF, when Miss Kat and I played, that was very powerful. In both of those situations, the Kindred were there, surrounding me and part of me, as I was part of them.

When Lady Beth sent out the initial email, suggesting that they combine my ceremony with the Christmas party, (once I got over the initial panic about the date the book was due moving up) I was a little bit non-plussed. She added that everyone knew I was family already, and they may as well just go ahead and do the ceremony, in what at the time seemed a rather off-handed fashion. But it wasn't. She was exactly right, as usual. By that time I was already part of the family. What happened tonight was really just a formalization of what everyone could already feel. And really that to me is more touching and more personal than a formal, transformative ceremony would have been. I'm not a formal kind of guy. Tonight the overall energy was more like "come on in to the Kindred- and take your shoes off", which was exactly what it should have been.

We ate supper after the ceremony. I had expected to eat leftover macaroni pie for lunch next week, but no. Gratifyingly, the pie was enthusiastically devoured. There are few things more satisfying to me than going home from the potluck with an empty dish. They washed the pan and handed it back to me. Lovely. I also got a lot of compliments. Even better! I am such a compliment whore. I ate some of the pie, and I have to say, it was excellent, even if I am bragging on myself. Everything was good. Billy made his fabulous baked brie, and really I could make a meal on that alone.

We also exchanged gifts. I didn't bring any. It is officially against Kindred policy to give holiday gifts, but apparently it keeps happening. I didn't know that. MC and sa brought lots of really great stuff! They gave us pictures of them that were just wonderful, and we each got a beautiful amulet that was made from coins they had hand-stamped on the ren fair trip I missed. They also gave us discs loaded with pictures that MC had made at different events. All lovely, thoughtful things, but not so expensive that you felt uncomfortable taking them, so spot-on perfect.

I got a very special gift from Wilenda - a pink tutu! In truth, deep down, I've always wanted one. She heard me say that a while back (we were talking about her making costumes for her children, I believe) and actually made one for me! It was a lovely thought, and a very special thing. Who would have thought I'd have to wait for 43 to have one of my very own? I put it on immediately, and did a few practice twirls. Michael (formerly Sir Michael) came with her, to my surprise. He was as gracious and gallant to me as ever, and congratulated me sincerely with an unexpected hug.

It was a lovely evening and I really enjoyed it. I feel like one of the family. As I was leaving, Lynn remarked that it was a bit sad that I was driving home alone, but it didn't feel that way. I reminded her that I had my herb jar with me, and that it had a bit of love and protection from everyone in the group - I would have the whole Kindred in the car with me! I drove back with my Kindred rings and amulet weighing delightfully on my chest. It's been years since I wore anything around my neck. The sensation is somewhere between a hug and a collar, and that feels right too. It's a tug of love and responsibility. The weight reminds me that I have standards to uphold and expectations to meet, but it also reminds me that I meet those expectations and standards joyfully because of the great gifts of love that go with them. Sometimes I move just to feel the rings shift against me, and sometimes I just reach up and hold them in my hand. I haven't believed in a talisman since I was a child, but of course this one represents something real. I feel pretty invincible in my Kindred rings.

A post in which I visit with Miss Kat and dana

2010-12-17T10:42:00.002-05:00

I went and picked up the cookbooks today. They are really nice, and I'm very happy with the print job. The cover graphic turned out great, and they even put a black leatherette cover on the back without my even asking them - perfect. I'm so excited about tomorrow night now!

Today was the holiday lunch at work. They brought in Italian this year and it was quite good. The office was full of food - a lot of departments had their goody days today because so many people are off next week. I went over to marketing and snagged a big dish of what I thought was macaroni and cheese, but actually ended up being O'Brian potato casserole. It was pretty good. One of the departments had a cookie exchange today, and one of the women came around offering some of the cookies that were left. I took some. I LOVE cookies, and I'm not proud. She had plastic baggies and everything - this woman was prepared. I also packed up some of the left-over pasta from lunch. The pasta alfredo was excellent.

I was a bit down tonight about not going to see Miss Kat and dana. I miss them, but I thought they were still in Florida. I sent a text just to make sure, and found out that they were actually home! I was thrilled. I threw the cookies and the open tin of Toffee-ettes (ugh - I really hate that name) and joyfully made my way to their house. I took in a copy of the cookbook so Miss Kat could get an advance viewing.

I was very surprised at her reaction. I figured she would flip through it, make a comment, and that would be it, but she didn't. She got her glasses, sat right down, and read the introduction through. Then she started reading the recipes. I was very pleased and flattered - and surprised. I just sat and petted the dog and watched her read. It made me feel very important for her to pay so much attention to something I had written.

We enjoyed our usual visit and conversation. They caught me up on the trip to Florida, and to Disney. They apparently over-did it and suffered for it, which is very easy to do when you're there. I caught them up on what's been going on here. Another lovely evening at Miss Kat and dana's. Sigh. I am a lucky, lucky man.

A post in which I hear from Paul

2010-12-16T21:30:00.005-05:00

Paul called me today. Apparently he called Eve to offer an olive branch, which she again slapped out of his hand. He called to ask her how she was doing, and tell her that they had heard of the difficulties she's been having. Reportedly she didn't even say hello, just started yelling at him.

I noticed last week that when she mentioned the card from Cindy (which even had a new picture of Brenden in it) she didn't seem terribly excited or over the moon. She didn't have much to say about it. Apparently when she showed it to me, she was waiting for me to criticize it. When I didn't do that, she didn't have much else to say about it. I draw this inference from the fact that Paul told me today that she castigated him roundly about what an inadequate, sterile, and generally unsatisfactory communication it was after all this time.

Sigh. She and Dad make me so tired sometimes. I just don't understand it. To make things even more pleasant, she gave Paul the third degree about how he knew about her surgeries and the difficulty thereof. That means she'll castigate me about talking to them. I'm supposed to keep their lives a secret from Cindy and Paul, in order to force them to call Dad or Eve if they want to know what's going on - yeah, that would work. Since I won't see them between now and then, it will probably be Sunday when we go for Dad's birthday dinner. I can hardly wait.

They had called me from the printer's yesterday to tell me that the cookbooks were ready. I was really stoked about picking them up today, but realized on the way home that it had completely slipped my mind! I couldn't believe that after that has been such an issue for weeks that I forgot to even pick them up. Tomorrow is the last day I have before I have to have them. That means if there is any problem, there's no time to fix it now (crossing fingers).

I got my See's candy on the way home last night!! Last year the company gave us See's gift certificates for Christmas, and I was so disappointed when I went to the mall to get my candy to find that they had already left. They pulled out the day after Christmas like a thief in the night. The gift certificates weren't redeemable by mail, which I have to say put my nose out of joint a bit. First they changed the name of my favorite See's candy from "Almond Rocha" to "Toffee-ettes", and now this! I have to admit though, as stupid as the name is, that's how good they are.

I finally remembered the gift certificates today. I put them up last year to save them. I walked in to the mall, just a bit ready for a fight. I wasn't sure they would honor the year-old certificates or not, but they did. They didn't bat and eyebrow, and were very nice to me. So that pretty much put my nose back in joint.

While I was at the mall anyway, I went ahead and picked up Reagan's gift - that finished Lisa's family. In the old days we would be doing gifts with them this weekend (we used to combine Christmas with her family and my Dad's birthday), but now that they have Ava and Brenden's out of the picture, we go to Chapin for Christmas.

I had decided to reward myself with dinner out for going to the mall, but there wasn't anything there that I really wanted, and I couldn't think of anything I wanted on the way home either. I ended up going home and making a salad, then having about a half pound of candy for dessert. Healthy.

A post in which it is date night*

2010-12-15T23:48:00.003-05:00

(Faithful readers, I apologize for letting things get behind - the last week or so has been absolutely insane)

The main event today, of course, was the date with Logan. I made good time on the way home, thank goodness, and had time to shower, change, fluff the house (just in case), and drop Bernadette's Christmas card at the post office on my way to the restaurant. I was supposed to mail it last Saturday of course, and forgot as usual. I just put a bunch of stamps on it and said a little prayer. She'll probably get it late again though.

I was at the restaurant first, and had just ordered a cocktail when Logan came in. We had a nice meal (he is a surprisingly light eater for a young man) and talked. I drew him out a bit about his family tonight. Like Michael, his family is markedly drama-free and seems to be fairly uncomplicated. His parents don't seem to have had hysterics about his being gay, and although there was an adjustment period, it doesn't seem to be a big issue for him now. After the meal was through and the coversation waned a bit, I took a deep breath and had the pre-talk with him, which he was really cool about. After I finished, he said "So, do you want to go somewhere?"

We went to his place. Things weren't perfect, because life isn't perfect (I had to slap the virgo voice down outta my head); but it was quite nice. I hope to see him again. And that's all you're getting, sorry.

A post in which I have a date for the first time in months!

2010-12-14T22:02:00.002-05:00

I just plain didn’t feel like working today, but of course I had to.

I chatted back and forth with Logan some today and we set up a date for dinner tomorrow night. We’re going to have sushi, which I am glad he likes. We do have this first awkward date to get through and then I can relax a bit.

On the way home I stopped by Hobby Lobby again – I had forgotten to look for Grandma Shumate’s calendar last night. I got one tonight, and it’s really pretty. I called Eve to check on her and ended up meeting her and Dad for supper at Lieu’s. It was a revelation to me that they would ever eat there, but she seems to really like it. We enjoyed dinner. Dad is really excited about giving Cole his Christmas surprise, even if it isn’t officially a Christmas gift. I’m excited too. Dad is going up to see Grandma Thursday, so my timing was perfect. I gave Eve the calendar for Dad to take to her. I didn’t go back to their house to visit tonight – I had stuff to do around my house. If we end up back at the house tomorrow night I want things to be nice. I changed the sheets (just in case) emptied the garbage, and did some other minor stuff.

I sent Justin a text to tell him I was once again contemplating seeing a younger guy, and I called him to talk for a while. He wished me well.

Just before I got into bed I tried on the Date Jeans, and they fit! So all signs thus far are good. I looked up his astrological sign today – he’s a Leo, and Virgos and Leos are suppose to make very strong partnerships if they can work through the early stuff. So this is not only the first date I’ve had in months, he’s the first guy I’ve seen since Michael with whom I’m astrologically compatible. Stupid, I know, and I don’t really believe in all that, but it’s nice to know anyway. I’ve been trying to keep myself from getting terribly excited, but it’s difficult. I am nervous. The last couple of times getting shot out of the saddle have been hard on me.

I just can’t believe it’s only Tuesday! I’ve had a full week already!

I got a text from Logan right before I got into bed, and we sent them back and forth until I signed off and went to sleep. He is such a sweet guy. I am encouraged.

A post in which I shop until I just about drop

2010-12-13T22:22:00.001-05:00

I woke up this morning feeling out of sorts, for no good reason at all. Apparently I am mildly psychic, because when I got to work, I found that one of our attorneys had taken a huge dump in my in-box. Lovely.

I did hear from Logan today, which was nice. We sent a couple of texts back and forth.

After work, I was determined to brave the mall when it would hopefully be less busy. I don’t really need anything there now, but I had told Dad I would pick up some things for him. But I decided to make my way there shopping. I’m looking for this meshugeneh ornament display that Russ wants. I know exactly what it is, and can picture it in my mind, but unfortunately, there don’t seem to be any in the real world. I went by a couple of places, and ran into a guy that I knew at Hobby Lobby. He seems to be the only one besides Russ who has actually seen one of them, but they didn’t have any. There aren’t even any online.

I did get Brenden taken care of, which was a good thing, since his had to go in the mail. I was buying Dad and Eve’s present when I called Dad to ask for details on his errand. It turns out they were very close by having supper, and he asked me to meet him at Best Buy. Dad is getting me a laptop this year for Christmas, and he wanted to go ahead and get it.

That was a great idea. The problem is that I know about as much about buying a computer as I do about administering a pap smear. I had a list of things that Rod had told me to look for. Because Dad had told me he would have to do this without me, I gave him the list. Which of course he had left at home. So he kept asking me which one I wanted, and of course I had no idea. We did eventually get sales help though, and between the salesman’s input and Dad’s memory of the things on the list, we ended up buying the one Dad liked. Which was fine. I had called Billy about it, and he seemed to think it would work.

Since I was headed for the mall in a hatchback, and Dad had just paid almost as much for this computer as we paid for my first car, I sent it home with them in the trunk to be picked up later. Then, I braved the mall. It wasn’t really too bad at all tonight. I was able to get in to my destination store, where I proceeded to spend an obscene amount of money for some floop-a-doos. But hey, that’s what he wanted, and if it makes the recipient happy, I suppose it’s worth it. She’s had a rough year.

I left the mall shortly before it closed. I still hadn’t had anything to eat. I ran by the library to drop off an overdue book, and was heading home with great relief when I remembered that I had to go to the grocery store. I was too tired to even mutter obscenities. I went through there, got what I needed, and crawled home on my knees. Well that’s what it felt like anyway.

I got in my jammies, fed the cats, and threw some left-over spaghetti in the microwave. I ate it, brushed my teeth, and crawled gratefully under the covers. At some point, I have to change my sheets, but it just plain wasn’t getting done tonight.

A post in which I relax a bit

2010-12-12T22:07:00.002-05:00

Russ had vaguely mentioned the flea market today, but when I got up around eight, I really didn’t feel like doing much. I had three hours until I was to meet them for brunch at Stax, but Russ told me to come on to the house before if I wanted. I had thought I might, but not. I was thinking about Logan. I wanted to call him, despite thinking I should play it a little cool. I was wondering how long it would be before he woke up when I got a text from him. I happily corresponded with him by phone until I was almost late for brunch.

When I got out of the shower, he was still texting. I got in the car and called him. We talked until I got there. It turns out that he likes older guys. He has been in a relationship of a year-plus, also with an older guy. That’s pretty impressive to me, since I was never able to hold anything together until my thirties. Also, he’s out to his parents, and has introduced a boyfriend to them before. All very good things. He sounds as if he has a good head on his shoulders. Plus he gets my jokes, and he likes a talker because he isn’t one. Since I would pretty much kill another talker like a Siamese Fighting Fish in a relationship that is a good thing. He also enjoys morning sex – a rare and precious gift in the gay community, and one I have seldom had the luck to encounter. We both regretted not going home together the night before, in a way. But of course my life is too complicated for that now.

When I got to brunch, there were a lot more people there than I was expecting! Chris and Kendel were there, which I knew, but Marty and Petal were there (yay!), as were Jazz and her Sir. Of course Joanne and Rob were there. Lady Beth came too! I was so excited to see her. I ran up to give her my protocol greeting, and was in such a hurry my knee went down on the curb and I fell over. She had to catch me to keep me from busting my head open on the pavement. Or just plain bowling her over. Smooth. Really smooth.

As usual when you have tons of people at a table, no one could really speak much to each other during the meal. I did talk to Chris and Kendel a bit. Chris is on vacation over the holidays as well, and we made plans to get together.

After brunch, everyone kind of took off for home. They had been in town for the Leather Ball. Russ told me that the Sunday supper for tonight was cancelled. We went back to their place and said goodbye to Joanne and Rob.

I had planned on more shopping today, but didn’t do it. It was so relaxing just to hang out with Russ and Billy. After last weekend, I felt like I deserved it. Billy and I watched last week’s glee, the Christmas one, which was incredibly sweet. We both cried through a lot of it. Russ was trying to put together a swing-through visit to Jeff and James’s house, or to get them to come by, but that didn’t happen.

Russ and Billy and I just went out for Thai, and then back to the house for the Fox Sunday night lineup. The Christmas Family Guy was on tonight, which I watched with great relish before heading home and to bed.

A post in which it is a very long and very interesting day

2010-12-11T23:59:00.002-05:00

I got up this morning determined to get some shopping done. But first, a trip to the flea market was in order. I went ahead and got my fruit for lunches next week, so I won’t to worry about that, but there was nothing else there but junk. Not helping. I’m getting vintage things for several people on my list this year, and the flea market is not helping me a bit. I wanted to get the hard people out of the way first, and the antique stores won’t be open evenings next week, so I made the rounds.

I scored big for Justin’s present in the first store. I was really happy with what I found for him, and it spoiled me for the rest of the day. His was so perfect, but none of the rest of the stuff I found was. I found a TON of glass today (two Mayfair sweet pea bowls - two). Had I been shopping for myself I would have been thrilled, but as it was I didn’t buy most of it. I did find two Bubble berry bowls, and two dinner plates, marked so cheaply that I just couldn’t let them go. I bought them. I also found a Floral coaster (one of my favorite patterns) for only $1, and I just had to have that.

Floral or "Poinsettia" coaster in green, by Jeannette Glass, circa 1931-1935

The Jadeite shortage continues, and what I found today was incredibly expensive (one milk pitcher was $90) (!!). Not looking good for Amanda. But I picked up a couple of things for Jeff and James that I was reasonably happy with, and I have a back-up gift for Amanda that I can get if I don’t find anything better.

I stopped at a Greek place and had a delicious salad with plenty of Feta cheese on it on my way home. I stopped off to drop the recycling, which I had packed that morning so I could do that while I was out. By the time I got home, it was about four, and I was beat. I took a badly-needed nap. I’ve already felt crappy on Thursday, and I’m trying to soothe down the Epstein-Barr so I’m not sick all through my vacation again this year. That really sucked last year.

But Donnie’s party was tonight. I woke up feeling better, and started stirring around. I wrapped the gifts I was taking and got cleaned up. I called Eve to check on her on the way out to Greer, and I called Russ and Billy too. Chris and Kendel are coming in to town this weekend for the Leather Ball, which was tonight also. If they had been at the house, I would have dropped by, but there was no answer.

I got to Donnie’s just as the party was about to hit full swing. It was a madhouse this year! It’s grown steadily and it’s finally outgrown the house. There were over 50 gifts in the gift exchange this year, and it was pretty unmanageable. I missed my gift getting opened, but it was a hit, and was stolen twice and out of the game within the first twenty or so minutes, which was gratifying. I finally just went out into the garage/smoking area because it was so crowded. I still had two gifts stolen from me, and ended up with a gag gift. That was fine. There was a woman there named Mo who liked it, and I gave it to her.

Other than the madding crowd it was a nice party. Nicole was dressed up like a sex kitten, and had on these fabulous leopard print spike-heeled go-go boots. Kimbley looked smashing in an animal-print wrap desk and spike-heeled black suede boots. I didn't wear my kilt. It was supposed to get cold, and plus I just wasn’t feeling it. I got to see Karen and Billy, which is always good. I hollered at Dan’l on the way by him once, but didn’t really get the chance to talk to him. I never saw Jim. I got to see most of the people I wanted to see, though, and if I didn’t get a chance to talk to Donnie, I did get a chance to give him the ornament I picked for his gift – he gave a gratifying reaction of appreciation. I don’t usually get to talk to Donnie at the party anyway. He’s the belle of the ball, and good for him.

Shortly after I got there, Mark had made a bee-line to me to tell me that they had someone they wanted me to meet. That was fine with me. I’ve kind of had some kind of Quasimodo thing going on lately, and I am so not too proud for a fix-up. I smiled and nodded at him a couple of times from across the room, when neither one of us could really get to the other. He finally just came out onto the porch with me and we started talking. He’s nice. His name is Logan. He’s only 25 (yikes), but he seemed to be attracted to me. We went back in to Donnie’s den, which had somewhat emptied out by then, and talked for a while. He’s a great kisser too.

Eventually I headed on out. I didn’t make a pass at him. I’m trying to do this right. Plus, Donnie and Mark just seemed to take it as such a foregone conclusion that I would take him home that it rankled me, just a bit, although I can undestand the assumption. I have his phone number. I’m going to talk to him and get to know him a bit before any hanky-panky. Dammit.

But it is nice to have something romantic on the radar. It’s been a while.

A post in which THE COOKBOOK IS DONE!! YAY!

2010-12-10T23:38:00.002-05:00

The cookbook is done!!! It’s DONE! And it’s good. I’m proud of it. There were a couple of recipes that didn’t make it in, but I ended up with 56. That was more than I ever intended to do. I called the printing place today to find out if they could get it back to me by next Friday. They told me they could. I wasn’t quite finished when I initially called them, and so I asked if I could turn it in on Monday. There was a pause “Sure.” The woman on the phone said. I didn’t like that pause. So I jumped on it, did a quick edit on a couple of pages, put together my table of contents, and hand-numbered the pages. I couldn’t figure out how to get them to number automatically, and it was going to get complicated. They are telling me that it’s no problem to have it back by next Friday. I emphasized that it had to be finished on pain of torture and death. The title is Kindred Cooking – What to Whip Up for Hungry Hedonists. I was limited to what was in stock for my binding, which I was a bit disappointed in, but I’m still pretty excited. When I dropped it off, it was like a weight had fallen off my shoulders.

I called Miss Kat tonight, forgetting that she and dana were in Florida for the week. Shortly after I talked to her though, Russ asked me to the house tonight. Joanne and Rob are in town and were already there. Russ did a Rankin-Bass Rudolph tree this year, and it is lovely. It's my favorite tree he's ever put up. We ended up going to get Chinese buffet, which really didn’t seem to agree with any of us.

We were packed in the car heading home (those of us in the back seat thought) when Russ abruptly decided to detour to Kohl’s. Well I needed stuff from there anyway. He’s looking for an electric pressure cooker, which they didn’t have, but I was able to pick up Lisa and Carl’s present while we were there - and bonus for me. It was quite handy to have Rob there as my ‘straight guy consultant’ on Carl’s gift. Now that the cards and the book are done, and the tree is up, my next focus has to be on serious Christmas shopping. I have a lot of gifts left to buy.

We went back to the house and hung out for a while, but I have a long day tomorrow. I toddled off home and put myself to bed.

A post in which I feel pretty crappy

2010-12-09T22:22:00.001-05:00

I woke up today after another crappy night’s sleep. I’ve been sleeping poorly recently, I think because of stress. My spankin boy was supposed to come by to see me today, but didn’t show up. Probably just as well. I really didn’t feel good at all. I decided to stay home today.

After a champion’s breakfast of leftover spaghetti, I settled in for some sleep. I woke up still feeling bad and addressed the rest of the Christmas cards I had. I ran out for another box of cards, and managed to find a box that was marginally acceptable at the Kmart near my house. Amazingly, they have stopped selling religious calendars, so I’ll have to get my calendar for Grandma Shumate elsewhere. They also didn’t have a Gamestop card or a Home Depot card for sale. So much for getting any Christmas gifts off the list. They did have a little surprise I picked up for Miss Kat.

I went over to BiLo near my house to get stamps, but of course since it was Christmas and people were actually buying stamps, they were out. I really hate that store. I dropped the stuff at the house and ran over to the post office in my neighborhood for the stamps. This was one of the few times I could take advantage of the 'ladies-who-lunch' hours they now keep. They did have stamps, thank goodness, probably because they aren’t usually open any more.

When I got back to the house I felt too crappy to continue cards right away. I had a small lunch and lay down for a while. I actually slept for another hour or so. When I got back up I finished the cards, except for those errant few that you have to track down addresses and stuff for. And that was pretty much what I got done today.

I lay down a while to finish out the afternoon, dozing off and on, and then got up and got cleaned up later in the evening. I went to the post office and dropped off the completed cards. I then went by and got some french fries that I really didn’t need for supper.

Scrooged, one of my favorite Christmas movies, was on tonight and I watched it. I think Bill Murray was great (as usual) in this, ruthlessly spoofing the excesses and tackiness of TV. That satire still feels fresh, even if his “good” gift on the gift list (a VHS machine) is now hopelessly dated. I really like Carol Kane in this. I wonder what happened to her. It’s always a chuckle to see flavor-of-the-month (at the time) David Johansen in this too. I took some Ibuprofen and by the time the movie was over, I felt semi-human. Hopefully I can sleep this off and feel better tomorrow.

A post in which I take dinner in again

2010-12-08T21:27:00.001-05:00

I got a good bit done today. I got some work done on the cookbook, which really needed doing. It’s due on the 18th, and I have no idea if there’s even any place to get it printed and bound in town. I also got in touch with Lisa about Christmas for her and Carl. I also talked to Paul today about what to get for Brenden. He’s getting to the age that I won’t really be able to buy for him any longer – this year it’s a Gamestop card.

I talked to Eve today a couple of times. She was finally discharged and got home around 2. Apparently the meatball sub was a hit last night, because she asked for another one tonight. I love Bertolo’s Pizza. The people there are incredibly nice, and I love supporting local business. Eve has apparently gone off Capri’s for a bit, and after they gave me meat sauce the last time I went over there, they’re kind of on my list too. I had baked spaghetti tonight. It wasn’t as good as Capri’s but it was fine, and the portion was enormous, and much cheaper than Capri’s. Dad insisted on paying me for both nights’ supper, despite my protests.

I had planned to be out again tonight. The Christmas things are piling up, and I have got to get on top of that pile or it’s going to bury me! To that end, I had packed up the Christmas cards and my address book. I went in BiLo (since they were just around the corner from the restaurant) to pick up a box of cards since I didn’t buy any last year after Christmas as I usually do, but they didn’t have any. Great. I didn’t have time to go anywhere else, and that meant that I couldn’t finish the cards tonight. After I took supper in and we ate, I sat and did Christmas cards over there while we listened to TV. That kind of killed two birds with one stone. I was able to make serious headway into the cards. I’m also cutting down that list, which has gotten ridiculous through the years. Some of the people on it I haven’t seen a long time.

By about 8:30, Dad was ready for bed, and frankly so was I. I toddled on home, relaxed for a few minutes, and turned in. It’s been a really long day.

A post in which Eve has surgery yet again, bless her

2010-12-07T22:02:00.003-05:00

I had forgotten that when I stay up too late it’s the second morning that is the hard one. I awoke to that remembrance today. Again, I went outside for a cigarette (which I needed) with my coffee (bad, wicked, naughty) but didn’t tarry. It is really cold this week!

My boss gave me my Christmas present by leaving the office for two more weeks. The Canadian guru is on the road too, guaranteeing that everything will be thrown into a mess again this month. She didn’t get back with me on releasing her reports last month and everyone was in a tizz about it.

I got in touch with Lisa about what to buy Carl for Christmas. She doesn’t know either. Lovely. I hate buying for men. They are so hard!

My movie buddy Nancy is interested in going to see The Black Swan. Now that I’ve had a moment to read more about it, so am I. Hopefully we’ll be able to claw out a couple of hours to see it during its (assuredly brief) run here.

Eve had the surgery she’s been dreading today. I checked in with Dad this afternoon though, and she seemed to be feeling pretty well. I took the meatball sub she ordered to the hospital for her supper and she ate every bite of it. I had a sub with her (Dad had already eaten) and we hung out in the room and watched TV and stuff, pretty much as if we were at their place. Eve was uncomfortable, of course. The procedure today was pretty extensive. But she’s a trooper. After demanding that those awful anti-embolism 'gauchos' be removed (for which I couldn’t blame her a bit – they’re awful), she got out of the bed to stand up for a while and seemed to feel better.

I excused myself around 8pm and told them I’d check in tomorrow. I still have 8,000 things to do, but I didn’t do them tonight. I’m still worn out from the weekend, and I really just wanted to sit and enjoy the tree for a while. So that's what I did, irresponsibly. For some reason, my supper hadn’t satisfied me and I was still hungry. I had some ~~junk~~ snacks while I watched a bit of telly.

I’m going to absolve myself from any housework this weekend (except making lunches of course) and concentrate on the cook book. Hopefully I can get the recipes finished up, and then there will just be the coordinating, numbering the pages, and securing the copies to take care of next week. It's due in on the 18th, so I really need to get going on it.

I actually have more plans than I thought I did this weekend, as frequently happens during the holidays. Russ and Billy have a houseful this weekend: Joanne, Rob, Chris, and Kindle are coming. I’ll go over there for a while Saturday before I go to Donnie’s party. Then Sunday I can skip brunch and work on the book until I have to get ready to go to the Sunday night supper. The last I heard that will be at Russ and Billy’s as well. So quite a busy weekend coming up, and I’m not going to have a lot of time to myself this week. If worst comes to worst, I can tell Dad and Eve that I’m skipping next week’s visit. I told them I might have to do that. I guess it will work out.

In the meantime, despite my good intentions to turn in early, I lay uselessly on the sofa watching the Family Guy marathon until I finally decided to get ready for bed.

A post in which I go back to work

2010-12-06T21:09:00.001-05:00

Well, back to the real world. I survived the weekend, so now I have only the remaining 8,000 things left to do. I slept poorly last night, and decided that coffee alone wasn’t going to cut it. I went out on the porch for a cigarette, but I only had one, and I didn’t stay long. As Bernadette says, it was butt-ass cold out there.

I plugged in the tree and got ready for work. Work was pretty usual. I’m winding up the presentations and starting the weekly reports.

I called Mama today to tell her happy birthday. She and Rod had been to Savannah for the weekend. That woman loves to go more than anyone I know. He took her out today and bought her a really nice leather jacket for her birthday, and it sounded like they were having a great time. Good for her.

After work I decided to run errands since Eve is having her surgery tomorrow. I went by the pet shop and the library, and then home to eat the last of the party food for supper. I’m eating pretty Spartan lunches this week, in part because of all the rich food I know is headed my way. But I wasn’t going to let the party food go to waste now was I? Besides there wasn’t that much of it. And I had a salad too, OK?

Feeling pretty wiped, I decided to turn in early tonight, and went to bed with Marty on TCM. I really do love that movie. I’m so happy that Earnest Borgnine finds love. He totally deserved that Oscar.

A post in which I put up the first Christmas tree in four years

2010-12-05T23:08:00.004-05:00

In many ways I have been dreading today. First because the house had to be cleaned. It could no longer be put off. Secondly, of course, I had been dreading today because we were putting the tree up. I haven’t put the tree up since Michael left. It was up for that last, terrible Christmas because we had to separate the ornaments, and I really hadn’t cared anything about seeing it since then. The center of my tree for the last five years I put one up was a large Christopher Radko ornament I bought at Disney on our honeymoon, and I really didn't know how it would feel to see it again. But I was challenged to a personal growth task by the Kindred, and it was probably time to get it back out. Plus when I made the pledge, it seemed a year away, and safely distant.

Before I got started, I ate a decent breakfast and went to the flea market. I had to buy fruit, and wanted to look around for some Christmas gifts. I found the former, but struck out on the latter. I also unexpectedly found myself on the verge of tears several times. I was thinking this was not a good omen. I know, and I’m sorry. I’m sick of listening to me whine too. But it’s the truth.

When I got home, I got stuck in and made the dust fly – and about fucking time I did too. I knew what had to be done, and what I wanted to get done, and I did almost all of it. This took some time. In the end, the house looked pretty good, and I was tired. Everyone was late, but that gave me time to do the little things like wash the wine glasses (Russ had given me a bottle of red to open to commemorate the occasion). About the time I sat down, Russ and Billy pulled in. And that was a good thing. I didn’t have time to get broody. I’d been too busy today to really dwell on it.

They burst into the house in an exuberant tumult, and I was tickled to see them. Billy had brought snacks with him, and thank goodness he did! I’d been so rattled about the whole thing that snacks even crossed my mind, unbelievably. Since the rest of the gang was running late, we went ahead and got all the stuff down from the attic. I put the tree together and fluffed it.

Shortly afterwards, Jeff, James, Amanda, Morgan, and Andrew spilled in the door. We poured wine, got them settled in, and I started trying to direct people toward the tree. Jeff, as I had hoped he would, just took over. He of course re-fluffed the tree, then fixed the lights. He and Billy did the garland, and after that we got the ornaments out. Billy took over the suddenly very complicated job of ordering the pizza, and in short order it was there. We ate, and then everyone chipped in and hung ornaments. I even hung a few, and that was the last thing I was intending. Usually I re-live the memories of the ornaments I've collected through the years as I put them up, but I was content to let everyone else get them out this year. I found that I had gotten the big ornament down by mistake, and Billy hung it for me. It was OK. There were ornaments I was very glad to see; some of them have lovely memories attached. Russ had brought me an ornament to commemorate the occasion. It was so thoughtful of him. I was quite surprised to realize that I was having a very good time.

I had thought that having my friends around would make this procedure bearable, but they did so much more. Surrounded by people I love and having the house full of laughter and conversation was deeply satisfying to me in a way that I can’t adequately describe. My house felt like a home, not just a refuge. I am such a lucky, lucky man to have such wonderful people in my life. My cup truly does runneth over. There are times that I have to remind myself of that, but tonight was not one of them.

When the tree was done, we just sat and visited and talked. I made coffee. I hadn’t gotten any dessert, but there was a frozen chocolate pound cake in the freezer, so I just popped a couple of slices into the toaster oven and served that. Morgan and Andrew gave us all exquisite little Hanukkah cards with lovely little notes inside. Almost before it seemed possible, it was over, and they were going.

I straightened up the house happily, with only one mar on the occasion. As I was putting mugs away I broke one of my hand-thrown pottery bear mugs. I love them, and had paid a good bit for them, but when you use things (like hearts? too schmaltzy?) they get broken sometimes. That's just part of life.

I spent just a moment admiring the tree before I turned it off and got into the bed with a thankful heart.

A post in which I attend my first ever pie party

2010-12-04T23:28:00.002-05:00

I awoke this morning with pretty much the best of intentions, which I then proceeded to wreck. I fooled around on the computer for a while, rationalizing that I wouldn’t be able to get anything done before I had my hair cut at 10:30 anyway, although I certainly could have. I breakfasted on left-over cream horns from last night, since they are, after all, one of my favorite things in life. Bad idea. Because of the hypo-glycemia, I really need some protein on my stomach in the morning to keep me from having a sugar crash. I know this, and I know better than to do that.

I did get the car loaded with some stuff for Goodwill and got to the shop on time, but I was starting to feel yucky. By the time my haircut was done, I had a headache. Russ gave me some snacks from his treat jar though, and I headed out. I dropped the stuff at Goodwill and went to the grocery store. I picked up pie supplies, lunch, and a bag of beans for soup to take for lunch this week. I felt great in the store, smiling at strangers and generally being obnoxiously pleasant, but by the time I got home, put the groceries away, put a load of laundry in, and ate lunch, I felt like crap again. It was obvious to me that I would have to lie down for a while if I was going to be worth a damn at the party tonight.

I felt much better when I woke up, and started shuffling towards the kitchen to begin the pie-making. Since I had two crusts anyway, I made two an extra quiche to eat on this week. I made Billy mushroom quiche with scallions. They smelled good, and turned out pretty. I was cleaning the kitchen when Nicole called. She was in the midst of the day from hell unique to someone who works in retail during the holidays, plus her fridge had died and she hadn’t been able to make a pie. Donnie had canceled, and she was just generally frazzled. I took two calls from her, settled her a bit, and prepared to be welcoming.

The house needed to be cleaned. I had planned big doings today which sadly had not occurred. But that didn’t stop me from fixing up a bit. I dusted the living room and did some other small cleaning jobs while I waited for her. I had time to make sure that the house was attractively lit and ready to receive a refugee from the unkind world. It's kind of nice to have someone to do for - I don't have that very often. Nicole showed up, pretty much as frazzled as I had expected, but I insisted that she remove her coat, sit down, and relax for just a minute before we left the house. She poured out the trauma of her day and seemed to feel better. We chatted for a bit, and that minute turned into over an hour.

We were late for the party, but that was fine. It was just around the corner from the house anyway. The pie party was in a small pottery gallery in City View, of all places. Now I had been over there before, but had you told me in my 20s that I would be going to a pie party at an art gallery in City View, I would have laughed and laughed. I had been expecting 18 or so Jell-o pies and my homemade quiche, but I had very much under-estimated the competition. These people had brought it, and although my regular quiche is quite good, I immediately dumped my thoughts of winning any kind of prize for my pie.

There were all kinds. Notable was one pie that had a carved vegetable dragon on top with a font of fresh watercress spewing from the open mouth. Not that tasty, but very pretty (there was a category for Most Beautiful Pie). There was a gooey chocolate pie that had to be tasted to be believed – truly a pie-gasm. There was an incredible gratin of sweet and white potatoes in a buttery rosemary crust that just had to be tasted to be believed. Not really a pie, mind you, but who cared? Another interesting idea was a Cherpumple pie. The guy had stacked a cherry, pumpkin, and apple pies on top of each other, kind of covered the whole thing in cake batter, and baked it. I can’t imagine what he cooked it in. It looked like a soufflé, but it was free-standing, and I’ve never seen a spring form pan that high. There was a store-bought crust filled with plastic kazoos, which resulted in an impromtu kazoo accomniment to the music later (there was a WTFWYT category, which is what I assumed the goal was).

The talk was good-natured, but I got the impression this was one of those parties (as are some of those I attend) where everyone kind of knows each other. They all seemed to know more people than I did, and they all seemed a bit more hip and fashionable than me. I knew Nicole. Period. Maybe it was just that most of them were straight, I don’t know, but I seemed to be unable to find my niche. I tried talking to a couple of people, but they basically just drifted away. Adding to the problem was that we had arrived at the party just as our appetites peaked. I had eaten two plates of pie. It was just a bit of this and a bit of that, but all those pies seemed to have taken up some kind of mad and vaguely nauseating square-dance in my stomach. I usually have an iron stomach, but tonight it felt like aluminum foil.

Nicole was tired too. She’d had a very long and trying day. She made her goodbyes and introduced me to the host, who was a very nice man. We adjourned to my place for drinks and chat, but the events of the day had drained both of us, and I needed to lie down and stop moving my gut around. She stayed for a little bit, and then went on home. It was an interesting evening, I did do something new, and I got to spend some time with Nicole. That's a win.

A post in which I begin to panic

2010-12-03T23:59:00.004-05:00

about Christmas. And high time I did too. I was suddenly overwhelmed today. This weekend is the busiest one I have for the year. I have:
-- a pie party tomorrow night, for which I have to bake a pie
-- the whole gang at my (incredibly nasty) house on Sunday to trim the tree
-- a cookbook due in by the 18th, which is not complete
-- three (3) Christmas presents purchased
-- Christmas cards to send
-- plus I have to get my hair cut tomorrow
-- Eve going into the hospital on Tuesday
-- God only knows what going on with Dad's kidneys
-- and, oh yeah, work.
Yeah, it's high time I started to panic. So I was sitting at my desk quietly freaking out when Fran called and talked for a few minutes. She made me feel better. You just take things one at a time, right? Eventually everything will get done. By next September.

But seriously, she helped me put it in perspective. Presents are only an internet click away, God bless it. The pie will get baked, and then I get to go to a great party with Nicole and Donnie, although Nicole told me today that it will be outside (and I'm like what?). My friends Sunday are coming to see me, not the house. If I clear the most egregious of the cat filth, they're not going to care about the house. They love me and are coming to help me. Fran is great.

All this put me in a much better state of mind for the evening. dana invited me over - yay! - and I was able to relax and enjoy it when I finally made it over. I went by Russ's shop to pick up some stuff he wanted me to take over there, then home to change and feed the cats, then to the grocery store for dessert (dana has had to go back out for dessert the last two times I've been over there, and I didn't want her to have to do it tonight), and then to Long John Silver's for a quick bite of supper. I LOVE LJS. It's a guilty pleasure. They have the absolute worst fast food you can possibly buy, but I love it anyway.

They were having a rough night at the LJS tonight. There was a family of 6 milling around in front of me, so I knew my food would be late tonight - the one time I didn't bring a book in with me. Sure enough, they seemed to have ordered at least one of everything on the menu, plus the kids were all play fighting while they milled around waiting. Plus there was no carbonation in the root beer. Plus the sweet tea was almost gone, and not very sweet to boot. Plus I ordered a medium fry, and when I did get my food I could have counted the fries without moving anything. But they were very nice, as always. They have the nicest staff in that store. Plus I figured that I didn't really need more fries in my diet anyway. So I gloried in the fried splendor of the meal, and then headed for Miss Kat and dana's.

I know I should have stayed home and cleaned, but screw that. It's Friday night, and I had to navigate the labyrinth that is the Canadian presentation this week. Plus I think we all know how likely it was that I would actually clean anything tonight - not bloody likely. Plus I'm just not going to stay home and clean when I'm invited out by friends. Life is too short for that.

It was great to see Miss Kat and dana, as always. The 'gourmet' brownies I picked up at the grocery store were a big hit with Miss Kat, and I had gotten a half a cherry pie for dana. We relaxed and visited and caught up from the week. It was a really nice evening, as always. They are such good friends.

So I came home, turned on the TV, consumed half of my refrigerator, and went to bed.

A post in which I am a bit maudlin

2010-12-02T22:28:00.000-05:00

Work is grinding me down. The month end procedure for Canada is torturous. It was better than last month in that a) I knew it was coming, so it wasn’t an unexpected lump in my in-box – I needed a bit of loin-girding time; b) I do have some familiarity with the information this month, albeit a glancing and incomplete familiarity; and c) I haven’t cried this month. I’m counting my blessings where I find them.

I stopped off at the pet store and then went back to the grocery store tonight. I had to have something to take to lunch tomorrow. I do find small things that make me smile. That’s encouraging. This evening, it was a rather nondescript woman in a pair of sassy red boots. I was glad she wore them. Another one was the sight of a small boy at the grocery store with his father, clinging to his dad’s big hand. Sometimes little things just overwhelm me, and it’s all I can do not to embarrass myself. But I am hoping as long as there is capacity for joy there is a hope for the future.

When I got home I had to change the sheets since I hadn’t yet done it for the week. About bloody time, but then I was gone for three nights last week, so it wasn’t disgusting or anything. I folded the load in the dryer, and put flea stuff on the cats. It is crossing my mind that I have TONS to do this weekend. I have a pie party on Saturday night, and the whole gang is at my place Sunday to put the tree up. The house is definitely not gang-ready. This is the busiest weekend in December, and to top it al off, Russ has been suffering with his tooth this week, so I have to go to get my hair cut on Saturday. I guess I’ll get it all in somehow.

My copy of Xanadu came in today, and I put it in as I ate supper. I had intended to go to bed early, but then got caught up in it and had to finish watching it. I know, in the logical side of my mind, that it’s a dreadful movie – absolute dreck. But I appreciate the cheesy awfulness of it because it was made when I was growing up. The schmaltzy sentimentality of it appeals to me, not because I buy it really, but because I miss the point in my life where I did. It’s so nice to think that love conquers all, that there is a perfect match for everyone out there, and that it will all work out in the end. I guess that’s one of those reasons I’m one of those saps who demands a happy ending at the movies. There are enough sad endings in real life - that’s not what I want for entertainment. So when I get misty-eyed at a stupid movie, it’s because I miss the young, sensitive Steve who believed some of it. I mourn him, and at the same time hope he isn’t completely gone.

A post in which it is the weekly supper with Dad

2010-12-01T22:08:00.001-05:00

Today was almost as bad as I had been dreading. I tried to stay calm and just work on one thing at a time, but by the end of the day I was frazzled and drained. I worked a half hour of overtime because I was meeting Dick and Eve for supper, and Dad doesn’t close the shop until 6 so he’s always late. It did give me something to look forward to at the end of the day though.

We had supper at Portofino’s, and it was as good as always. I decided to try something different tonight and had the cannelloni, which was excellent. I hadn't had any for a while because veggie cannelloni is hard to come by around here.

We went back to their house afterwards for a visit. I found out some bad pieces of news tonight. First, Eve’s old surgery site (which they have opened three times now) still isn’t healing. This has been going on since July. She is scheduled for surgery on the 14th. They’re going to have to take the tissue out of her back for a graft and see if that will heal. It’s a fairly drastic step, and means still more pain and suffering for her. I feel so bad for her.

The other bad bulletin on the health front is that Dad is having kidney problems. His creatine levels are at dialysis level now – bad news. He really doesn’t need another health issue. I do feel bad for him, but I had to resist rolling my eyes a bit when he shared with me tonight that he thinks his continuing health problems are due to all the medications he’s been on through the years. I love my dad, but he’s been digging his grave with his teeth for over twenty years. If it helps him to have someone else to blame, though, so be it. I am of course sorry to hear of another problem he has to deal with.

A post in which it is a pretty quiet Tuesday

2010-11-30T22:20:00.001-05:00

Today was the first day I’ve had at work where I really had time to draw a decent breath since I took over the Canada stuff. I appreciated it and took advantage of it; since month-end and year-end for the fiscal year starts tomorrow, I know it will be a while before I see the like again.

I went through the grocery store (since I hadn’t gotten half the stuff I needed last night) and the library again tonight (I had the notice on a book I asked to be held). I was ready to be home when I got home. I picked up the stuff to make burritos, since I wanted Mexican and just couldn’t bear the thought of another salad. They were pretty good.

Since I did so much last night, tonight was my flop night. I have about 8.5 million things that need doing, but I just plain don’t feel like doing any of them. So I did not. I did sit down with my new phone and put in all the numbers that didn’t transfer last night. I will freely admit to being gizmo-challenged. When I put the numbers in my phone when I first got a cell, I put in the 1 before the area code, which of course cell phones don’t need. The numbers worked fine in my old phone, but didn’t transfer over to the new one. That was a poser to me when I was trying to call Dad today and the call wouldn’t go through. So that was one productive thing I did tonight in a pool of sloth.

A post in which it is a busy Monday

2010-11-29T22:18:00.000-05:00

I had all my calls to catch up on today, plus the usual weekly reports to run. That is before even thinking about month end, which starts on Wednesday. Sigh. I was caught up when I left though.

I heard from Billy today. Russ shared with me last night that he had given his old phone to Joanne while they were here for Thanksgiving, so I had thought I was SOL. But Billy said that he would see what he could round up at work. Apparently they give old phones to charity when the employees upgrade them. He came through. He was able to get me a phone for free! So top of the priority list was to go get it tonight. I ran by their place and picked it up. Russ had been to the dentist today for an extraction though, so he was in bed. I thanked Billy profusely and headed out.

The next stop was the Verizon store. I was there about an hour, but they got it all switched over, even if they seemed somewhat taken aback by my lack of phone savvy. I can't be the only person that comes in there that doesn't know how to program the things. I was able to ID the phone Billy gave me as a nice Motorola that would have cost $190 new!! It's by far the most expensive phone I've ever owned. This one isn't as cutting-edge as the phone Russ had, but then I really don't need cutting edge. This one suits me fine.

Leaving there, I had to go to the grocery store. I had no fruit for the week and hadn't felt like going to the store yesterday. After that I had to go by the library to turn in a book on CD that was overdue.

I was finally headed home about 8:30, and thinking I would collapse and look up the phone online to find the instructions, when it rang. Fortunately it wasn't hard to answer, but I couldn't get it unplugged with one hand, so I was driving kind of hunched over. It was dana, and how great that my first call on the new phone should come from her! She and Miss Kat wanted to visit, and of course I said sure.

I got in and had just enough time to run over the worst of the cat mess, put away the groceries, plug in the new phone to finish charging, and put on my pjs before they knocked. It was so good to see them! I love them both so much. We had a nice visit and chatted for a bit before they had to head home. I still hadn't had any supper, so I foraged through the cabinets for junk before turning in. What a day!

A post in which I head home

2010-11-28T22:22:00.000-05:00

I slept well, and got up ready to head for home. I've really enjoyed my visit, but it's time. I had breakfast with Mom, and got her Christmas tree down from the attic for her before I left. It was a pretty day for a drive.

I got in tired. Just feeling run down. I've been trying to rest as I go, but E-B is pretty demanding. Before I could lie down though, I had to clean the kitchen and bathroom. The cats had destroyed both rooms while I was gone. They had knocked all the dishes in the floor in the kitchen, and the bathroom is always a disaster area after a trip. After yelling at them until they hid, I completely cleaned the kitchen, re-washed the dishes, and put it back in order. I gave the bathroom a lick and a promise, and then unpacked.

After a nap, I felt much better. I got in touch with the gang to find out what was going on. Originally, I had planned to be home early today to go to a family thing where dana was going to pop the question to Miss Kat, but she hadn't been able to wait, so that was no longer on the agenda. But dinner was on at Jeff and James's house. I cleaned the bathroom top to bottom, scooped the litter box, and got ready to go.

When I got to the house, things seemed off. It seems that Jeff and James had had a rough time. Sadly, Amy and Aaron broke up this weekend. I'll spare the details, but infidelity was involved, and Amy had showed up at their house, distraught, Saturday night. They all proceeded to get severely wasted and stay up all night. James had had about three hours of sleep.

But we were all hungry, and glad to see each other. James had promised sushi, and Amanda had her heart set on it. After a lot of debate (heedlessly, since almost all the sushi places close on Sunday around here) we ended up going to Kampai. OK, so it wasn't the best sushi in the world, we reasoned, but it was in fact sushi. Well that would be providing you could get it. There was apparently only one waiter on duty. The service was incredibly slow. It was fifteen minutes to get drinks, thirty to get appetizers, and a full hour after ordering before our food was all served. We were all pretty over it, especially James. But it was edible, and we were all together.

We went back to the house and had dessert before I said goodnight. Another long week ahead, and I have much to do.

A post in which it is flea market day!

2010-11-27T22:28:00.001-05:00

There are two flea markets very close to each other in Columbia. Whenever I visit Mom, I try to work in a stroll through. I've made some very good buys at each of them. We just got up, had a cup of coffee, and headed out.

We made short work of the first flea market, and headed for breakfast at Lizard's Thicket, another favorite stomping ground of Mom's. I had an excellent cheese omelet, and Mom surprisingly ordered a salmon patty (of course feeding me half of it) before going to the second.

Mom picked up a couple of things, and I got a splatter guard for my microwave at the Chinese dollar store, but that was the only thing I saw that I wanted. It's just always fun to go to the flea market though.

We went back to the house and I took a nice long nap. I'm trying to pace myself so that I don't have an E-B flare-up like last year. I have the next four weekends completely booked. I just don't have time to lay around. By the time I woke up we were both starving, so Mom fixed the rest of her second Thanksgiving meal. We ate a big lunch, and then went back to the mall. I wanted some lotion from Williams-Sonoma, and it was late enough by now that people were clearing out to watch the football game tonight. We were going to watch also, but we had plenty of time to scamper out and back before it started - still no Christmas socks for Ava.

We settled in to watch the Clemson vs. USC football game. I was thinking about dana, and texted her during the game. I also sent some saucy texts to Lisa, who has turned into a Clemson fan. Shortly before the end of the game, I sent this text to Lisa "Mmmmmm chickens eating puddytat," to which she replied "Hope they get indigestion!" It was fun teasing her. Carolina won! It was a great game, made all the better because I knew how happy it would make dana that 'her chickens' won.

A post in which it is Black Friday

2010-11-26T22:45:00.000-05:00

I slept in this morning, and good for me. I need the rest.

Rod was up and out fairly early, leaving Mom and I to our shopping. We used to go every year, but had left off the tradition until last year. I really enjoy shopping with Mom, and asked her to make a little time for me. We don't shop the way we used to - neither one of us can do that much walking any more, but we enjoy spending the day together. We had intended to have breakfast out this morning, which we both love, but we started eating pumpkin bread, and eventually just decided to go on.

We headed for Bed, Bath, and Beyond first. I got Mom a second bowl for her KitchenAid mixer that she wanted. We looked around at a nearby shoe store because I want a new pair of saddle oxfords, but since those are a summer item they didn't have any, which pretty much set the tome for that. We went to the mall, but none of the stores there had them either. Mom almost got sucked in by the Dead Sea nail people again, but was able to escape just in time. We also looked for some Christmas socks for Ava, (Mom had worn some to the Christmas show and Ava had been fascinated) but no dice. No one had any for little kids, amazingly. I did find some really adorable pajamas for Ava though, and added that to her gifts from me. They were half price too.

We adjourned for lunch and Ibuprofen at Casa Linda, a great Mexican place where we had lunch last year when we were shopping.

Since we had struck out on the shoe thing, we went by Best Buy. I want a new CD alarm clock. I also did some research on the computer I want. Dad has said he'll get one for me if the one I pick out isn't too expensive. The one I found today, though, was $780. I think I can find one a bit more reasonable, so I'll do some more research. Rod had helped me out with the specs on it, but I don't think I need all the things he recommended. They were out of CD alarm clocks though, and didn't have a copy of Xanadu, which I wanted. In desperation, we went to Wal-mart.

Ordinarily I'm an anti-Wal-Mart kinda guy, but nothing else was working out for us, we were both tired, and we didn't have to leave the parking lot to get to the nearby store. So we went. They did have one CD alarm clock, so we got it. They still didn't have the movie, but I can order that online.

That done, we went back to the house to rest for a bit. I needed it. After lying down for a bit, we were ready for some supper. I took Mom out for her birthday tonight, since it is on the 6th and I won't see her then. We went to Outback, because that's what she wanted, and she went for the steak and lobster tails - and good for her. It was a very good meal, we had a very nice waitress, and she brought Mom's birthday dessert early, and sans screaming waiters, which made it even better.

It just so happened that the restaurant was just across from a Ross's Dress for Less. Mom and I both love that store, so we went in to wander around. She ended up buying me some new bedroom shoes, and I got her a teeny umbrella to put in her little ladies backpack. We also ran in the dollar store while we were near it. I needed something, and it's always fun to swing through.

After all that, we went home to relax and watch a bit of telly before we turned in. It was a lovely day with Mama, and I actually have a gift or two under my belt, thank goodness.

A post in which it is a Happy Thanksgiving

2010-11-25T23:28:00.000-05:00

But a long day nonetheless.

I awoke to the smell of boiling chicken. Mom was making stock for the gravy. We had coffee and a light breakfast - Mom had made two large loaves of pumpkin bread. We were supposed to eat at 1pm, but I put a protein base on my stomach just in case. We all got ready, packed up the stuff, and headed for Lisa’s house, getting there right at 11am, our proscribed arrival time. Carl was there, but he and Cole had just woken up. Lisa had put some monkey bread out, and we all picked at it. Ava was going hell-bent-for-leather as usual. Since the guys weren’t awake yet, and Lisa and Mom were both busy, Ava honed in on me as her buddy. We played, I read her a story (surprisingly about monster trucks), and watched the Macy’s parade.

Dad and Eve were surprisingly late getting there, but we ended not eating until about 2pm anyway, so it didn’t matter. We all ate like hogs. It was the biggest meal I’ve eaten in I can’t remember when. Lisa had gone to a lot of trouble to go out and dig up Quorn breast-like pieces for me to eat. Although they were excellent, I was sorry to put her to the trouble.

The day had turned off surprisingly warm, and since they had already turned the air off for the season, and since Lisa had been baking since 6am, the house was quite warm. After lunch we all adjourned to the living room. I ended up dropping off for a nap, as did Dad and Rod.

Eve was having problems with her legs, and Dad took her on home about 4 or so. Reagan (one of Carl’s other daughters) was there. We were waiting for Lisa’s other step-daughter, husband, and kids to arrive. They did, and we had pie while they ate. Mom made four (!!) pumpkin pies, but we ate one, and left one for Cole, so that left only two for us. Wow. Carl and Lisa’s son-in-law, Joey, has gotten exponentially hotter in the last year. He was just a little piece of heaven right here on earth. I tried not to be the creepy gay guy, but man he looked good! I'm thinking it's really been way too long since I had a date.

The kids were a bit of an issue. They have three (I thought really, I would have all the kids this man wanted, but I digress). Ava is used to being not only the only child, but the center of attention at all times. I don’t think it helps that their little girl is very pretty, and has long, thick hair. Ava, bless her, still doesn’t have much hair. She started to pitch a fit that the other kids were playing with her toys. They were able to pacify her – just; but as much as I love her, she kind of showed her ass. She really needs to be around other children more than she is.

Eventually, we headed back to Mom’s place. She had left a chicken in the crock pot (more food) because she wasn’t going to bring turkey home. She boned that and we had a sandwich after basically lying around worthlessly for a while.

It was a nice Thanksgiving.

A post in which I head for Mom's

2010-11-24T23:28:00.001-05:00

It was a fairly quiet day today. A lot of the office was gone, and it kind of reverted to the sleepy buzz that an office gets right before a holiday. It was a long day, but bearable. I am still ready for the time off.

Afterwards I scampered home (through town, highway 85 was of course a zoo), took care of the cat stuff, did a few last-minute things around the house, threw the bags in the car, ate a meatloaf sandwich (the last of it, thank goodness), and headed out. I was only home for an hour. I was very grateful that I didn't have to get on highway 85 to get to Mom's.

I made good time. I couldn't use the cruise control a lot, but compared to 85, 385/26 to Columbia was a breeze. I was at Mom's by about 8:30.

Mom immediately fed me her supper, which she had picked at and left to die. It manicotti from the Greek/Italian place near her house that I like so much, and I scarfed it down, unsure if it was as good as I thought or if I was just grateful to be eating something that wasn't meatloaf. Rod was there, and we cleaned the remainder of a freezer lemon chiffon pie out of the fridge while we were at it. Fridge space was at a premium, since Mom was not only making a lot of stuff to take tomorrow, but was making double batches of a lot of it "so we would have something here to eat on here". Let the stuffing commence.

We ended up chatting and companionably watching a marathon of Full Throttle Saloon, the reality show about a big biker bar in Sturgis, SD until bedtime.

A post in which I am packing

2010-11-23T21:45:00.001-05:00

The antenna on my phone, which has been woogly for several weeks, finally snapped off today. Pretty much the worst timing it could have. Russ is going to give me his old phone, but there was no way I could get over there, get the phone, get by Verizon to have the service moved, and make it home in time to pack tonight. So I started off by gluing the antenna back on my phone.

I was soooo tempted to go out to eat tonight. I am so tired of ficken pie and meatloaf every day. But it's cheaper than eating out, and I know Mom is going to stuff me full of food the whole time I'm there. So I was a good boy, went home, and ate meatloaf. Again.

I got the packing done, and got to bed fairly early. It's a long day tomorrow.

A post in which I start getting ready to go

2010-11-22T22:20:00.001-05:00

I am SO ready for some time off from work. Tonight I got in and did laundry. I was trying to decide what I wanted to take to Mom's and what needed to be washed. Meat loaf for dinner.

I'm trying to pace myself and not over-do. I'm having low-grade fever and stuff like last year around this time when my Epstein-Barr came down on my head so hard. There is just so much to do.

A post in which I make an impromtu flea market trip

2010-11-21T23:59:00.003-05:00

I had of course intended to clean house today, but I was just barely up when Jeff and James sent me a text. They were headed to the Barnyard flea market – at 7:30. All of the flea markets have moved from the traditional early hours, but none more so than Barnyard, which seems to cater to a brunch crowd. I threw on some pants and went to meet them, but when we got there most of the vendors had not yet set up. Since I hadn’t had breakfast we scampered over to Denny’s while we waited. I had an omelet with a heaping side of witty repartee from the boys. Today’s wasn’t as good as yesterday’s was, but then it was hardly a fair comparison.

We went back and did the flea market. I've been feeling surprisingly fancy-free because I didn't have to cook this weekend. I have left-over chicken pie I can eat for lunches next week since it's a short week. So I was relaxed and really enjoyed the trip.

I didn’t buy anything, surprisingly. Jeff and James picked up some cake for the dinner tonight, and we left the flea market with James contentedly hitting first me and then Jeff with the cakes. We said our farewells, and I went home to work on the house a bit, have a bit of a lie down, and get ready to come back to see them. I did finish putting boric acid down in the living room, dusting the floor I had just cleaned yesterday. At some point I have to do some cleaning - the whole gang is at my place on the 5th, and they can't come in with it looking the way it does now. But in my best Scarlett O'hara-esque fashion, I decided to worry about that another day.

Dinner tonight was gnocchi and salad. They had first intended to make the gnocchi from scratch, but later (rather sensibly, I thought) decided to just boil some. They did two different sauces, both of which were delicious. One was a sassy tomato sauce, and the other a rich Gorgonzola cream sauce – luscious. I brought mango-flavored cheerleader beer since I had forgotten to get them last week. We ate until we couldn’t move, and then played a game of 10,000. All too soon, it was time to go. I have a very busy week ahead, and really can’t afford to start it off tired.

A post in which I run some errands and have dinner out

2010-11-20T23:59:00.002-05:00

I needed to clean house today, but of course didn't feel like it. It was a gorgeous day, and I had only one egg in the fridge. I decided to run errands, and treat myself to breakfast out. I loaded up the car and hauled off the recycling, then headed for Stax Omega. I love their omelets, and I was ravenous. After treating myself to my favorite - the Greek, with fresh spinach and hunks of feta and a mound of fried potatoes on the side, Greek toast that was perfect, coffee and tomato juice - I felt ready to face the day.

Well actually I felt ready for a nap, but I decided to face the day anyway.

I went by a cheapo store to get some boric acid, and then to the grocery store for a few odds and ends (including eggs), and then headed home. I did boric acid on all the carpets, straightened up the bathroom (now a never-ending job, since it has become the cats' favorite room), cleaned out one corner of the living room, and then got ready to go to Russ and Billy's house.

Marshall, John, and Aaron were in town. We were all hungry when I got there, and finally decided to go to Golden Corral for dinner - I know. None of them are very adventuresome eaters. Still it was fine, and since we were hungry I was game. It wasn't too bad. They did have these little coconut tarts that were excellent. Not as good as Mama's, but then I wouldn't expect them to be.

We went back to the house and played Farkle until late. John failed to score round after round, but then got on a roll and ended up winning the game. It was good to see them.

A post in which it is like old times

2010-11-19T23:36:00.000-05:00

I really wanted to go to Miss Kat and dana's tonight. It has been weeks! Happily, it worked out and I was invited.

It was so lovely to be back in the den with them, visiting and laughing. Miss Kat showed me an email I had seen before, but looking at it afresh (and away from work), I just found it endlessly hilarious. I laughed so hard I thought I was going to pee on myself! dana went out for desserts and brought back a pie that was frozen (it wasn't supposed to be). We ate it anyway. Frozen coconut cream pie is still pretty blame good, I have to say.

It was a great evening, and I was so happy to see them.

A post in which I go home and go to bed

2010-11-18T20:22:00.003-05:00

I am tired. I'm not feeling my best, and I'm running a strange low-grade fever at times. These were precursors of the bad outbreak of Epstein-Barr last year. I sure would hate for that to ruin my holidays again!! I just started feeling better.

So after I came home and ate a meatloaf sandwich, I went to bed. I called Eve to find out how her doctor's appointment went today, and she actually had some encouraging news, which is really great considering how she's been suffering. I try to pet her a little bit, since she likes to be fussed over, and Cindy is apparently not going to call her. It seems to be such a small effort to make for something that makes her feel good.

Then I turned off the light and turned in.

A post in which I visit Dick and Eve

2010-11-17T22:10:00.004-05:00

Since I was caught up enough at the house to go out tonight, I met them for supper at Mimi's Cafe. Everything there is horribly caloric (the average entree has about 1800 calories), but I wanted to see them, and I didn't particularly want to go home. They do now have a 'healthy entrees' selection, as well as a 'smaller portions' section that sounded quite nice, not that I took advantage of them. I ended up eating a roasted veggie sandwich that was quite good, but it was so messy I got it all over me. Still, it was tasty.

Eve continues to suffer with her health. The old surgical site isn't looking great, and the new site is hurting. She goes back to the doctor tomorrow. All I can do is commiserate.

We went back to their place and visited after supper. It was actually quite relaxed. I have noticed that now that I see them every week, there isn't as much pressure on me when I'm over there. I don't feel so much like I'm under a microscope. And Dad has toned down the poor-me-abandoned-by-my-ungrateful-children routine a good bit. I went in tonight, sat down, and had casual conversation as I flipped through a catalog and chatted. It was actually pretty nice.

A post in which I have another tiring evening

2010-11-16T21:10:00.001-05:00

When I got in tonight, I had run out of gravy, which meant I had to make more of it for lunches this week. I'm eating ficken pie, and without gravy, it's just lacking. So I made gravy, set it out to cool, and changed a load of laundry. I ate supper and cleaned up the kitchen. Tonight's supper was a celebration of gravy. I had a veggie burger dipped in it, and then had an open-faced meatloaf sandwich smothered in it. It was quite excessive, and I ate too much. But I adore gravy, and I don't make it that often.

Since I'm still rather wiped out from the weekend and last night, not to mention work, it was good to get on in the bed tonight.

A post in which it is a busy evening

2010-11-15T21:45:00.002-05:00

Since I had played all day yesterday, I had plenty of chores to do tonight.

I came in, changed the sheets, put the old ones in the wash, and ate some supper. I then put together the meatloaf to bake. That will be supper for this week. By the time I got through changing out the laundry, cleaning up the dishes from dinner, supper, and meatloaf, cutting a watermelon for fruit this week, and then packing lunch for tomorrow and taking out the trash, it was about 9pm, and I was ready to sit down.

I collapsed on the sofa and did very little else until bedtime.